hey, navy girl! ya know, i always used to point at the holiday inn across the street from one of the hospitals in des moines, and say "it'd be cheaper to check in over there, and have a doctor come visit you in a $70 room instead of a $500 room here." i don't know how relevant those numbers are now, but i bet it's even more so. and if you're talking about
an 'assisted living' facility, that'll really set you back.
will this surgery be at the VA? is it in a bad part of town? is there a hotel nearby? you do drive, don't you? like ivy said, if you could just get a hotel room, park the car there, have the VA shuttle come pick you up, stay a week or so in the hotel (whatever it takes), and then when you can, drive home. it won't be cheap, but it'll be a heck of a lot cheaper than 'nursing home lite'.
maybe sniper could ride up, and i could ride down, and we could have an 'intervention' for your brother.