Welcome :) I had a reply set to post but then my computer hiccuped and it disappeared...
I agree with Ivy, check the threads in her signature, they may be very helpful for you. I've also posted about my experiences with my abscesses, fistula and seton.
I had surgery for an old abscess in December and had a seton placed. He began tightening it about 5 weeks ago and then it fell out last week! I had no idea it would come out that quickly and I didn't even realize it was gone until I was in the shower, I guess I flushed it away!
My seton surgery was one of my easiest, I think because it finally addressed the true source of the infection and pain. I loved my seton once I got used to it. It was just a little yellow rubber band tied off at the end and while it drained a lot, it kept me from having that terrible pain all the time. I also had an open incision that was a little freaky- but as long as you keep it clean, it really is okay. It was mentally challenging to get over the wide open cut and the seton but it wasn't too bad for me overall.
I'm also young and girly and this whole experience was mortifying, but I'm over that now :) No modesty for me anymore. You can't see the seton unless you are really looking for it, mine didn't hang out far enough for anyone to see- and you will have to keep a gauze pad tucked into your bum all the time anyway, so it's not like it's hanging out. You'll probably pull on it accidentally a few times while going to the bathroom or showering and while it is a very STRANGE feeling, it isn't terrible. I really felt strange when mine fell out, I was so used to it being there.
Do you know if you are going to have a long term seton to keep from reabscessing or a cutting seton? I won't lie, when they tighten it, it hurts. But overall it is like a wound, achy for a bit, itchy when it starts healing, but it hurt less to sit with the seton than it did with the abscess.
I'm hoping mine did the job and I'll keep healing but I live in fear that the abscesses and pain will come back. One day at a time.
Good luck! Let us know how it goes.