Sniper, after reading the posts it made me think of something I wanted to share... I lost my Dad 12 yrs. ago and at his funeral the Pastor said something I'll never forgot. He said, "To LIVE you must see DEATH."....this has always stuck with me! So simple, so true! The longer we are here...we are going to see it! We want to protect ourselves from it but... Death IS part of Life!
I wonder in this country if we don't under estimate the amount of time mourning really takes. After loosing both of my Parents years ago I never really truly mourned. Took me years to finally FEEL it! I was busy raising my children and working to FEEL anything. Then... the flood gates opened and it hit hard! That's when I was diagnosed with PTSD and probably the beginning of my stomach issues if I think about it. Not only dealing with their deaths but remembering some of the abuse that I had buried for years.
When my anxiety is high...the PTSD comes back. It can just be something as simple as a smell or a song that will give me a flashback. I get the sweats, heart racing, panic attacks, yada yada...really sucks! They are like tremors in my soul. I have to put into action the many techniques I have learned from the Shrink over the years to help them go away. Kinda shakes you to your core.
But wanna say, Thank you for your service to this country! I don't think we have a clue to what you've been through. I am glad your on this web-site because your the only one that talked to me after I was diagnosed with Diabetes with the Crohns. A scarey time for me. You made light of it and I thought ..if he can handle it so can I. I appreciated it!
Anyway, I miss my loved ones that are gone in my family too. There are more and more on the "other" side now and I believe that have made a place for me to come when the time is right.
Just the other day I hit my answering machine and an old message from my Mom came on! (She died 15 years ago so this was sooo weird!) the message said.."Honey, I'll pick up some milk at the store and bring it over when I go by in a few hours."
I had a glass of milk with dinner that night :)
"Get busy living or get busy dying"
Dx in 2005 with Crohns after a Hysterectomy. Re-section in 2006...came apart so got to do it again! Frequent Kidney stones and Shingles... a new present as of 08-09 Diabetes Type 2. Total of 12 surgerys.
Imran, Asacol, Colestid, Bentyl, Lamotil, Paxil, Nexium, Probiodicts, Vit D, Folic Acid, Lots of Potassium, Fish Oil, up to 6 Immodium a day. Oh, and one Giant Pill holder!