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ok need to vent a bit...is this a guy thing?

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Posted 3/10/2010 9:07 AM (GMT -7)

Navy,

Yes you are this amazing amazon woman but right at this time you are feeling vulnerable and out of control of the situation and you want/need someone there who will watch out for your best interests. That is a perfectly natural thing to want. Maybe your brother has become used to you having tests and doesn't appreciate why you are so fearful this time around.

Get that amazonian spirit together and spell it out for him-I am sure that once he(and she) realises they will change their tune,

Hope it all goes well, (((hugs)))

Posted 3/10/2010 6:07 PM (GMT -7)
I think it's a "Get a New Next of Kin Thing"! I wish you well and hope the scoping goes better than in the past. Hugs!
Posted 3/10/2010 7:46 PM (GMT -7)
God is Great....Beer is Good...and People are Crazy (as the song goes)....I think this would be a fitting epitaph myself.

I think the girlfriend is insensitive to a situation she obviously "thinks" she knows something about. Little brother must REALLY like her to put YOU and your needs second on the list! Let your brother know how you feel (especially because YOU paid to get him there in the first place) and let him deal with the girlfriend! It always hurts more coming from family that you have high expectations from doesn't it :( "HUGS".
Posted 3/11/2010 3:32 AM (GMT -7)
FunGuy makes a good point - this may be a generalisation, but in my opinion guys don't deal with such situations as openly as women. I guess we're just not as emotional.. or perhaps more emotionally stunted.. ;-) Definitely the case for me.

I just had surgery and have been in hospital for nearly five weeks now.. over a week in ICU, then CRU, etc. To make matters worse, I live in Melbourne and I got sick in Sydney on a work trip (1 hr flight, 1000kms away). So I have been stuck in a hospital miles away from home, family friends and support network.

My wife has been here with me at my side the entire time. From day 1. She arranged to take carer leave from work, checked into a hotel and has been here every single day living through this with me. It has given me a totally new appreciation for how much she loves me, and what she is prepared to sacrifice for me. Basically, she is experiencing this with me. I guess some of you, especially those in long term marriages might think this is obvious and that I'm over dramatising it. We've only been married for just over a year, and I have been astounded by her care, love and attention.

I love her with all my heart and I would love to say that I would do the same thing. But in all honesty, I am not sure I could.. or would. Just being honest.

However there is a solution. Guys need to be told. No hints, or allusions. Just come straight out and say it. After all, we're not the smarter sex...
Posted 3/13/2010 9:07 AM (GMT -7)
Navy..i totally understand what u are feeling and i too am sending biggest gentlest huggs ever...it is okay to need him and he should be there knowing you want him there.....with you in spirit hun,,huggles..lyn
Posted 3/13/2010 11:39 AM (GMT -7)
Dear Navy,


I am so sorry you are having this situation but here is my humble opinion.



Tell your brother you need him to stay at the hospital as you are afraid and that is the plain and simple truth. You have every right to be afraid when you are having a procedure done and it does not matter if it is a big or small procedure. We are all human beings and should not have to explain the why's and wherefore's of what we are feeling all the time. So sweetie, just tell him you need him in the building with you and do not feel obliged to explain to him or his fiancee' your feelings as this is not the time to have to justify your needs.



You are not asking for anything unreasonable, just for your support person to stay with you !



If I was close to you I would be more then happy to be a support person for you. You have gone through so much and I know from my own experience how much the "patient" needs someone.



Please accept my support and caring here in HW and know my prayers are with you.



Gentle Hugs,



Kitt
Posted 3/13/2010 11:49 AM (GMT -7)
(((Navy)))

Kitt just said what I was going to say, only much more eloquently. Sometimes we have such a stiff upper lip that people don't realize when we really need help. They're so used to us being strong that they don't hear the first time or three that we tell them we're afraid. My husband, the most sensitive of men, couldn't anticipate this week when I was dealing with bad cellulitis, and bad antibiotic effects, that I wouldn't be going to the fitness center with him. I had to sit him down, explain just how serious cellulitis in the facial area can be, and explain about my swollen, bleeding butt.

I wish I was there, Navy.
Posted 3/13/2010 4:17 PM (GMT -7)
Awwhhh Navy, Bless your heart. I would be needing someone too. Sometimes it just feels like you have no-one to lean
on, even though you have family etc, they can be so insensitive.
I would be there in a heartbeat, if it was possible. Take care, I'm thinking of you.
Posted 3/14/2010 10:15 AM (GMT -7)
Thank you all!
Things went ok, had a bit of a bleeding problem, but ok.
Will talk more later when not so drugged up.
Posted 3/14/2010 3:27 PM (GMT -7)
Glad you're ok Navy. Been thinking about you, you've gone through a lot lately especially the loss of your dear Mom.

I hope things start to improve for you, LoL. ((( hugs )))
Posted 3/14/2010 3:30 PM (GMT -7)
(((((Navy))))  Thinking of you and glad you are OK.  You know how much you mean to everyone on HW so always come here and ask for support and caring.  Be good to yourself and always ask for what you need.

Love ya kiddo,

Kitt

Posted 3/14/2010 7:03 PM (GMT -7)
Good to hear you came through OK.
Posted 3/14/2010 8:29 PM (GMT -7)
Hey Navy - glad you made it through. I read this post at the right time since it was after it was all over and I didn't have to worry for you!
Posted 3/14/2010 10:29 PM (GMT -7)
Glad to hear it went ok. look forward to the update.
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