I'm going to echo what everyone else said on here and definately let you know that you are amazing to go through this with your girlfriend. She is lucky to have someone who is willing to support her like you are.
I had experience being the one with Crohn's in a long distance relationship with my fiance for 4 years while I was in grad school. It was not an easy feat, but he was worth every hardship we went to. We talked on the phone every night and it was difficult. There are days when I would have a small flare and even after sleeping 8 hours and taking a nap after school, I still felt like I had pulled an all-nighter. Some nights I could barely concentrate on the phone with him...it is difficult sometimes, especially if you're not feeling well or you're in pain.
Or it's possible she might not think that it's not fair to unload everything on you...how long have you guys been going out for? I have a hard time unloading things on my fiance for 6 years...we're young, we should have to deal with chronic pain, medications, doctor's trips, CT scans, colonoscopies, diet changes, etc. It's such a personal and scary thing that I know when I get sick, I retreat because I don't want people to have to deal with what I'm going through with me...I've always thought of it as my disease and my problem, so I'd deal with it and return to real life when I felt better. Is it possible that your girlfriend might think like this?
There is also a pretty constant fear for me (and I'm sure people like me) that someone you are close to is going to leave you, if you have not been dating for a long time (happened to me twice before I found a great guy.) And this is something (if she's worried about
it) that she'll get over on her own, but it takes TIME...it took me almost 5 years before I
opened up about
gut stuff with my fiance. The only thing you can really do is keep doing what you're doing and showing her that you love her for her and you'll be there for her regardless of what the intestines do...
I'm going to echo what Bob said about
Crohn's...I spent my 4 years of LDR in remission (except a few mini flares), but towards the end of it, I started getting sick. My fiance was great towards the end with me moving/trying to get fixed up, he listened to me complain about
my stomach squeaking, constipation, tiredness, crying over not being able to eat veggies anymore and God knows what else...but sometimes, I just don't want to talk about
it. Maybe it's not okay to pretend that life is hunky-dory, but sometimes you just WANT to. So I guess my advice is if SHE wants to talk about
her Crohn's, let her talk about
it. If she doesn't, then don't talk about
it. Sometimes that hour long conversation is an escape from living on the toilet or curled up in bed with stomach pains.
Be a constant source of love in her life, keep
open communication and don't forget to make sure that you don't lose sight of your or her needs while going through this flare. She's lucky to have found someone as wonderful as you and everything will work out.
And in the end, don't let Crohn's run or ruin your relationship.
Diagnosed 2002 at 18. Remission for about
7 years. Getting back into the swing of things at 26.
75mg Imuran, 750mg Balsalazide 3x day, Tapering Pred.
Maybe flaring...maybe not?