Over the years we have come to know one another in our online community. We have shared our joys, our concerns and sadness. You have made me laugh and on one occasion want to tear my hair out, though for the life of me I can't recall what incident evoked that feeling in me. Obviously it was very trivial because I can't remember it.
My dear husband died a little over 4 years ago at age 58. He had not been ill. It was sudden, devastating, and at the time, I thought life ending not only for him but for me. How could I go on? I would never be able to laugh again. There would be no reason to enjoy or give joy. As my children, my mother, my SIL, my best friends, his best friends reminded me - my husband loved life, brought joy to all that knew him and to strangers on the street. To lose my hope, lose my zeal for life, would dishonor my husband's memory. When I thought about
it, my husband would have been really PO'd if I gave up and caved in.
You are afraid of what the future holds. I get that. I have been really scared at times as I stumble down the rocky road alone. Getting older stinks and getting older alone stinks so much that it reeks. Hang in there my friend. And remember, there are lots of shoulders here, perhaps thousands. You have lots to lean on here. Feel free to use our shoulders liberally.
Moderator Crohn's Disease, IBS, and Osteoarthritis Forums
CD, Ankylosing Spondylitis, lupus, small fiber peripheral neuropathy, avascular necrosis, peripheral artery disease, pulmonary hypertension, degenerative disc disease, asthma, severe allergy and a host of other medical problems.