More doctor drama, losing faith....

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Date Joined May 2010
Total Posts : 28
   Posted 8/12/2010 8:50 PM (GMT -7)   
My hubby's insurance approved for us to go see a different rheumy, but he had to get it approved through his primary care manager (I.E. Military doctor.)  He also had a consult with pain management put in by the ortho (for his broken foot/ankle.)  That had to be approved by the PCM also.
Hubby's PCM that he's seen for the past couple of years recently retired.  He was a good guy who cared.  But he's gone now, so hubby's been bouncing around between whoever happens to be available.  The last guy he saw was great. 
Had an appointment today just so he could get the pain management consult in and get the referrral for the other rheumy doc.  Hubby saw a guy he hadn't seen before.
BOTH referrals were denied by this jerk today.
I literally left the office in tears.  I turned my back on the doctor and walked right out so I wouldn't go off on him.  (I can see it now, crazy wife going off on an Army officer.  Hubby would be in SO MUCH deep doo doo!)  This stupid GP (who admitted he didn't know anything about any of this) didn't think it was in our best benefit to change rheumy docs now because we have a "relationship" with him.  I (very politely at this point, I wasn't crying yet) explained that he seemed a little arrogant and had no tact, so it was hard to form a relationship with someone you didn't feel like you could trust.  He didn't budge.  Ok.....that's when the tears were welling up.  So hubby then (also very politely) asked him about the pain management referral.  Well, of course that wasn't needed either (even though the ORTHO referred hubby to it without either of us asking for it or saying a word because he noticed the redness, heat and swelling in his ankle.)
Needless to say, I am BEYOND pissed.  Before this dipwad had even finished speaking with hubby I was collecting out stuff and getting ready to walk out.
The thing that upsets me the most about this whole thing is that neither hubby nor I are hypochondriacs.  The man has NEVER gone to the doctor unless he absolutely had to.  I'm the exact same.  Nor am I the type of wife who normally gets all in his business, especially with the Army.  We've been married almost 11 years, and I've been more involved in the past could of months than I have in the previous 10 years combined.
I also done more crying in the past couple of months than I have in the past couple of years combined.  I like to think I am a pretty strong person.  But I am so emotionally fragile right now, I honestly don't know how to handle it.  I've always been able to control my emotions.  This completely sucks.

Elite Member

Date Joined Sep 2005
Total Posts : 10404
   Posted 8/12/2010 9:01 PM (GMT -7)   
Wow. That's completely unacceptable.

I'm a civilian and in Australia so have no idea what to suggest, but please accept my hugs and sympathy and empathy and anger on your behalf :-(.

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Regular Member

Date Joined Jun 2010
Total Posts : 265
   Posted 8/12/2010 9:23 PM (GMT -7)   
Is there a way that he can get another appt next week with the Dr that you both liked? Or call and say you did meet with a Dr but weren't happy with the results of the appt anyway you could see someone else? I've had to do that before and the staff understood. They actually commented on how they weren't a fan of the doctors bedside manner. Which I thought they really shouldn't have said but it was nice that they broke the rules and said it made me feel like I wasn't the only one who hated the Dr. That's awful that you had to leave so upset. I hope everything works out for you both. Best of luck.
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   Posted 8/13/2010 11:21 AM (GMT -7)   
I have had to use the patient representative [patient advocate] at my local military medical center. I had a Family Practice doctor tell me that he did NOT have time to deal with my medical problems. After this military hospital sent me out to a civilian GI for care, 2 years later they decided I needed to return to the military hospital. I had established a relationship with the civilian GI and was upset by this. In both cases the patient representative office resolved the problems to my satisfaction.

Make sure that your husband asserts his right to continuity of care. He needs to be assigned to a PCM that can coordinate his care. Your husband should name a doctor or two that he has dealt with and feels would work in his behalf. Getting a good PCM in place will help in getting the desired referrals.

If the ortho doc put in a referral for pain management, then the PCM should not have to approve it. I don't understand that unless it is a requirement for active duty people only. If any of my specialists put in a referral to another specialty, then I just call the appointment line to set up the appointment.
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Regular Member

Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 377
   Posted 8/13/2010 12:21 PM (GMT -7)   
Is it possible at ALL to contact the old PCM? I konw that a really good doctor will are enough to recommend someone who might be more compatable with your husband all his needs.

Maybe we should all just stand up and say to the jerk doctors, "YOU SUCK. TREAT ME LIKE A HUMAN BEING WHO IS EXPERIENCING SOMETHING YOU'VE NEVER ENDURED." There's my lil shout to jerk doctors. It took me years and then I still ended up back with my original doctor. I trust him. He knows me. He says my name when he enters the room and asks me straight out, first thing, (not my real name but he says my real nmae) "Joooooooooie, how are you doing this month/season/whatever length of time since last visit." I've hated every primary care doc except him (and one exception of the doctors I saw when I was hospitalized...they were actually pretty caring and very informative of what they were doing and how this worked, etc.).

I wish you luck. Try to contact the retired DOC. Sometimes, they can refer you to a Doc whose compatible with all the problems.
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Regular Member

Date Joined May 2010
Total Posts : 28
   Posted 8/13/2010 4:25 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks for the support everyone. I was really upset when I posted this.

Some good news though! My husband was able to let his commander know what was going on, and he is going to go with us next week to see the military doctor again. So I am pretty sure that things are going to get straight. It's honestly sad that it had to come down to this, but we are VERY fortunate that his commander is on our side with all of this. He and hubby's 1SGT KNOW him, and know he's a d*mn good soldier and isn't just being whiney. I feel tons better, and hopefully we will get some help for him soon.....

He's actually physically doing better, thank goodness. Still has a lot of pain, and still can't eat well, but he can move without being in a wheelchair. We have developed a love/hate relationship with prednesone. *rolls eyes*

Elite Member

Date Joined Sep 2005
Total Posts : 10404
   Posted 8/13/2010 5:09 PM (GMT -7)   
That's brilliant news, Tuper. It's always great, and helpful, to have someone with clout on your side.
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Medications for Crohn's ~~ Diet and Nutritional Therapy for Crohn's ~~ Dealing with Abscesses and Fistulae ~~
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