Yuck, NCOT. That sounds truly horrible, and a revolting end to Christmas for you. Two viruses within the space of a few days is COMPLETELY unfair.
Friend really isn't the sort of person you described; truly. Her mother died a year after mine so is in a slightly different stage in the grieving process and is also, I think, going about
it differently. The point of doing Christmas together was to get through the day with someone who was dealing with similar sadness and would be somewhat considerate; my issue was that by making plans to spend time with other people (and not warning me in advance) and leaving early, she then left me alone on a REALLY hard day, with no-one to talk to. As you'll know if you've cooked a large meal for others, conversation wasn't that deep during the cooking & serving process itself, because I was perpetually distracted, and she was gone within about
90 minutes of me serving up. And because she gave me no warning that she was doing this, I made no back-up plans for company & support for myself... and also wore myself out preparing things for the afternoon (wiping down back table; making sure porch was presentable; making biscuits for afternoon tea; etc) when I could have been resting, or spending time with other people myself.
It's 2am and I'm awake and feeling like a horrid friend and a neurotic Nellie, and as if I've been entirely irrational and unfair. My heart is telling me this, but my head is telling me my instincts are right, and I did need to act to stop things from going too askew, friendship-wise.
She said she had no intention of behaving hurtfully, but that was my entire point: it was the subconscious behaviour
s and attitudes had hurt me, as I felt they were sending messages that were not very fair or complimentary to me, and displayed a somewhat skewed idea of what Christmas & our entire friendship was about
. Telling me how tired I looked as she walked out, and not even thinking to help with dishes, was but one indication of this, esp as she was walking through the kitchen as she said this. There were others, that I won't bother to go into here.
She said one reason she acted as she did was because she was feeling sad and finding Christmas hard, but geez! so was I, and I (as you know, NCOT) had twice as many reasons to be feeling bereft that day. And twice as many reasons to be needing company.
Anyway. I suppose I should try to get some sleep.
If anyone wants to start a Sunday tlc thread, please do. It's Monday for me now :-/.
ps. How was Dr Who?
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Post Edited (ivy6) : 12/26/2010 8:19:09 AM (GMT-7)