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Posted 2/15/2011 8:10 PM (GMT -6)
Hello everyone. I am sad right now. I have been flared up for about 2 weeks. So all of you know how it id being stuck at home. I read the valentine posts, and to all of you that have a supporting husband, don't let him go. I thought our valentines was going ok. I was able to go out to lunch with my husband (didn't get much down), then we went home and relaxed. I was able to take a short nap before the kids came home. Later that night I had really bad upper back pain. I have been ggetting it more and more frequently, so I had my husb. i touch and was playing a game while walking around our formal living room (there is a fireplace where I can put heat on my back). I walk because it's excruciating to sit. Then my husband came in upset that I am playing the game so long and continues to tell me how he is so unhappy. So here I am not only dealing with  being flared up, I am an emotional reck. cry   God gives me only what I can bare. He is my strength.In my husbands eyes I am the worst wife in the world. So pray for me. I thought I would be strong enough to buy myself some flowers today but I am still not feeling well. If you out there have support you are blessed! My kids are great but I feel like a burden when I am ill.  I sit most of the time. I have to go now and figure what my girl is going to eat. It would have been nice to have someone to make dinner. I am trying not to eat anything solid right now. Thanks for listening to me rant. I continue to pray for all of you!

Post Edited (at) : 2/15/2011 7:14:13 PM (GMT-7)

Posted 2/15/2011 8:22 PM (GMT -6)
Sorry to hear you are not feeling well. It truly is a blessing to have someone that stands by your side. Maybe you two just need to sit down and have a heart to heart talk so that you both can say how you feel. I hope that things work out for the both of you. Feel better soon.
Posted 2/15/2011 8:23 PM (GMT -6)
Can't type a lot now (my hand is bothering me) but I wanted to send you ((((HUGS))))). It's hard to not feel well, but even worse when you feel pressure to be or do more when you don't feel well.

I hope things get better for you.

Is it helping to not eat solids? Have you spoken to your doctor about the flare you're in?
Posted 2/15/2011 8:39 PM (GMT -6)
Thank you. My husb. is fully aware of what I have. He is just not that interested. Doctor knows. I was on pred. but weaned off ,too many bad side effects. I just think it's easier on my system to not eat solids for a while. I am not under wait thanks to that horrible pred. To his credit he just asked if I wanted him to grab something for dinner. Thanks for your hugs.
Posted 2/16/2011 2:56 AM (GMT -6)
(((((Hugs)))))) So sorry that you are having a tough time of it right now. If only your husband could walk in your shoes for a couple of days perhaps then he would have a greater understanding/compassion.
Posted 2/16/2011 7:08 AM (GMT -6)

you both need therapy, together. first you alone, then husband, together. some won't go. just to understand some of those medical issues, if nothing else. good luck to you, it's tough

AG

Posted 2/16/2011 8:25 AM (GMT -6)
(((at))) Big hugs to you first and foremost. I think I have to agree with AG, maybe some councelling is called for. If he won't go with you, then go for yourself.

My first husband couldn't handle having a sick wife. What sucks is that for the majority of marriage to him I was pretty healthy Crohnswise. I did have a herniated disc in my neck that would act up out of the blue frequently, but other than that I was pretty healthy. Now I am blessed with an amazing husband. He has been with me at the worst with this disease, and still is there for me.

I will pray that you and your husband can open your communications line again. Hugs again!
Posted 2/16/2011 8:40 AM (GMT -6)
((((((((((at)))))))))))))
I am so sorry things are so rough right now. In my personal experience I found counseling to be really helpful in dealing with this darn disease and all the relationship issues that come with it.

I am just thinking outloud here, because I have to admit I get irritated when someone is playing on the computer when I am around and wanting to spend time with them.  What was he doing while you were in the formal living room?  Do you have a heating pad so you have more mobility in where you can be? 

Posted 2/16/2011 9:25 AM (GMT -6)
He was in the other room watching tv. I told him he could of came in and talked with me. I was onlly playing the game to do something. I didn't want to watch tv, I couldn't be sitting. That's why I was just paciing around. We have beenn through counseling. Believe it or not the only time we argue is when he is unhappy.  The hard thing for me is knowing this disease could get much worse and that there is know end to it. I have read what everyone here goes through and I have seen my brother have it a lot worse then I. I am grateful to God that I am not there yet. My husb. doesn't get how I am blessed that my crohns hasn't been worse. I admit it depressess me a bit to think if I was worse how would he be then.
Posted 2/16/2011 9:26 AM (GMT -6)
Sometimes us men do and say stupid things without thinking. You may say we run our mouth without putting our brain in gear. Your husband may just be frustrated because as a man he feels he needs to fix things and he cant fix what you have. Hope thats what it is anyway. Just talk to him more and explain how you feel and find out whats going on in his mind , it may help a lot . My wife and I have long talks all the time. She has stage 4 cancer and I know I hate that I can't stop it. Between the crohns and her illness we have a bumpy road, but talking helps a great deal. Hopes and prayers for you and yours....
Posted 2/16/2011 10:18 AM (GMT -6)
my hubby can get like that too. Maybe he should come here, and read some of the posts and realize how lucky you are not to be as sick of some of the others here. Mine kinda turned around when he started to read all the side effects of remicaide.

Even when i was in the hospital he seemed not to care. He did.
He's been brought up alot different than i was. No dad in his life, single mother with 3 kids.

Some days i want to slap him up side the head, and say you live with this for a day, and then tell me how you feel.

Personaly i think everyone should have this horrible thing for a day, so they can see what we go through.

Well , i hope you are having a better day, hugs to you.

Posted 2/16/2011 10:29 AM (GMT -6)

hey at, don't feel like a burden, you can't help what cards you have been dealt. You gave birth to your kids, you're not a burden. what med's are you on? is your husband sole provider to your household? does the money thing make you feel guilty? first you need to get your disease under control. please keep us posted on your progress of crohns.

AG

Posted 2/16/2011 12:20 PM (GMT -6)
Don't feel like a burden. If they can't understand right now, they will soon. Just be open in communicating with them. Sometimes people get so wrapped up in their own unhappiness they can't see others pain. Keep lines of communication open. Try socializing and interacting with them any way you can. And have them talk to you about why they may be unhappy. It could just be a downward spiral on their part. Many times lots of little things build up and we take it out on the ones closest to us. Keep the chin up. Things will get better; get the disease under control.
Posted 2/16/2011 2:29 PM (GMT -6)
Thanks everyone. I greatly apreciate everyones support.
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