A little late to the party, but I just wanted to suggest taking sitz baths in an effort to keep your abscess from healing over too quickly. The first time my abscess was drained (by surgeon), I was not given this advice, and it healed too quickly, leading to another bout of pain and swelling. This time it popped by itself, and I religiously took sitz baths (as hot as I could handle, for about
15 min.), and the thing is still draining 3 months later. I sometimes throw in a small handful of epsom salts.
I still don't understand the ins-and-outs of abscess and fistulas, and whether drainage this long is good or bad for either an abscess or fistula, but I've had no pain whatsoever, and all swelling is down. I have to think that's a good thing. To manage the drainage, I'm able to place a cotton round (those make-up removal pads) over the tiny hole, which in my case, is just outside the vaginal opening, near the perineum. They work great, I change it whenever I go to the BR.
I'm sorry you're going through this - I have the same thoughts so often: "Why me?!?!?" If it weren't for this ding-dang thing, I'd be doing quite great. Hope you find a workable solution soon.