Posted 11/4/2011 4:17 PM (GMT -7)
I don't have any real words of wisdom for you, I sure wish I did. Except for this: YOU ARE NOT ALONE! I just read your post and felt like you were describing my life as it currently is. I also am tired of just existing, dragging thru life and not being able to do anything fun at all. Right now I'm a tired, immobile LUMP, with chronic pain. And I get jealous of healthy people, workmates, family, friends - they're still doing stuff and as you say, when they get the flu, or a stomach bug, it's "OMG, I was so sick" and they stay home and rest. I'm jealous of them!!! Their sick day - well - that's a normal day for me (and many crohnies).
Anyway, doc recently gave me lorazapam cause I asked for it. I just couldn't stand my own attitude, tears, etc. He thought the antidepressants and ssri's were not for me. And lorazapam has helped me a little, but really, how I get thru this depression is by holding on, knowing there's still a lot to live for, and waiting / hoping for the good days. I'm in a real pity party on myself this week, but you know what : This week I think I can go to Pity-ville, I have a right to feel sad about this and so do you. BUT I also have to keep trying, and hoping, and you said that you are too - so good for you & me!! Sorry long post, but just wanted to say, you're not alone in this feeling. Stay strong and like was posted, check on the drugs - in my case, my meds don't really affect me with my bad attitude, but sounds like MTX is not easy to take.. Pred was like that for me. Hang in there! You can have a life that doesn't revolve around Crohn's!! It just might not start today :) but I sincerely hope it will start very soon for you!
10 years with crohn's / last 2 in a flare with crohn's / peripheral neuropathy / arthritis and r/v fistula. Yippie!