Posted 12/3/2011 8:41 AM (GMT -6)
I have been painting my house front . Yea , yea , I know I just had a heart attack but sitting still will have me in a rubber room faster than work can kill me . I'm taking my time but when I built , I put some gingerbread in the front porch . You guys , DO , know what that is , right ? Anyway , its h--- to paint . If my whole house was gingerbread I would have asked for a sedative and just vegged out on daytime TV . The real trouble is , when I was taking it easy and doing nothing but sitting around going nuts I didn't need to run to the bathroom that much , but now it looks like every time I dip a paint brush I have to run to the John . Yep , runs and drips are not just paint troubles . When you consider the fact that this type of work gets more paint on me than what is being painted the run to the restroom takes on a whole new color . I don't have time to wrap the brush , pour the paint back in the can , close the can , clean my hands and walk slowly to do my business , it's more like ,,,,"OH CRAP !!!!!!!" ,,,,drop the brush , grab a towel , DON"T fall off of the ladder , don't trip ,,,,,Ruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun, waddle waddle waddle . There's no time to get all the paint off my hands either so this makes clean up a bit tricky too . I'm talking about my clean up here . Toilet paper sticks real well to paint thus leaving my hands looking like , The Return of The Mummy . Try getting TP that has been glued to drying latex paint off your fingers . Not a chore that brings joy to your life . Not just fingers are involved in this glue job , so , now comes my real problem . My house is mostly blue and while I wash myself as well as possible I am somehow certain that there are some blue paint spots left in the nooks and crannies of my nether regions . While that isn't a concern most of the time , I have an appointment with a new doctor Monday . I am sure to be DX with some strange and exotic new illness due to the appearance of blue spots with what looks like pealing skin patches on my fanny . Should I just hope I have done a good job in the shower or tell the doctor in advance that he may find Angle Soft and Sherman & Williams spots on my a,,,ahhhhh,,,private parts . Maybe cave men had the right idea .