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Emotional state and flares

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Crohn's Disease
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crohnsmom10
Regular Member
Joined : Dec 2011
Posts : 25
Posted 1/4/2012 6:52 PM (GMT -8)
My husband asked for a divorce two weeks before Christmas and it was a shock to me as I didn't see it coming. Ever since then I have been in a horrible flare. I haven't had much if any appetite to speak of, and anything I do eat goes right through me. I'm having some stomach pain and occasional mild pain in my right lower quadrant where I have the stricture and where my disease is usually active. This is very upsetting because I haven't had a flare this bad in years and have been trying to avoid surgery but am afraid that this flare is going to bring that surgery closer. I have lost around 13 pounds in the last three weeks. I don't want to call my doctor because he will probably put me on prednisone to quiet everything down but in my emotional state I don't think I can handle the effects prednisone has on my moods and sleep. That and I know he'll want to do another colonoscopy to move forward toward that surgery that I also don't think I can handle right now or afford. I am due for and am taking my next Cimzia shot today so I'm hoping that it helps to calm things down.
Do you think its O.K. to try to ride it out for a little while longer or am I am stupid to wait? Thanks for listening.
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FunGuy
Veteran Member
Joined : Oct 2009
Posts : 1070
Posted 1/4/2012 7:13 PM (GMT -8)
Strong emotions; especially bad ones clearly trigger flares IMO.  Please call your doctor and share your concerns about the side effects of Prednisone.  See what she thinks you can do.  Try to take care of yourself during this difficult time.

I wish you well.

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sparkleplenty
Veteran Member
Joined : Nov 2010
Posts : 601
Posted 1/4/2012 7:53 PM (GMT -8)
{{{hugs}}} Almost 3 years ago, my ex slammed me with a divorce out of the blue. I went into a flare as well. It was an extra shame since I'd finally gotten my CD under control after being diagnosed 3 years prior. So I got about 2 months of remission.

I managed to limp along by getting help for the anxiety, depression and insomnia that ensued from the emotional shock. That lasted me a few months until my GI pushed harder for the pred. My GI was very sympathetic and understood we had to balance my mood/emotions with the Crohn's. Talk to your doctor, and hopefully he can do something that buys you a little time.

Take care. Be gentle with yourself.
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crohnsmom10
Regular Member
Joined : Dec 2011
Posts : 25
Posted 1/4/2012 8:08 PM (GMT -8)
Thank you for your reading my post. I'll give my Doc a call I may at least get him to increase my otc prilosec for the rx dosage. That may help with the stomach pain and increased reflux a little. I'm hoping he will understand and not push to hard. I am seeing a therapist to help me deal with things and I have kept going to the gym to help relieve stress. I'm hoping that my gut will start to behave in the next couple of weeks. Thanks again for your kind words.
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gumby44
Veteran Member
Joined : Nov 2007
Posts : 4505
Posted 1/5/2012 1:49 AM (GMT -8)
I am so sorry you are splitting with your husband, and I can only imagine how stressful that is for you. How quickly does the Cizmia usually work for you. I absolutely hate Prednisone too, but a horrible flare and the risk of an obstruction from your stricture or surgery is worse. It sounds like you are doing everything you can to try to take care of yourself. Ask for support from your friends and family...and we are all here for you too!
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Nanners
Elite Member
Joined : Apr 2005
Posts : 14999
Posted 1/5/2012 6:47 AM (GMT -8)
Just wanted to offer you some gentle hugs! I have been where you are and its not fun. I know when I get stressed for long periods of time I flare pretty badly too. Had it happen this past summer.

Glad to hear you are seeing a therapist too. That will help alot to talk it out. Are you by any chance using any anxiety or depression meds, those might help alot too. Hugs!
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crohnsmom10
Regular Member
Joined : Dec 2011
Posts : 25
Posted 1/5/2012 9:54 AM (GMT -8)
No I'm not on any meds for depression or anxiety. I'm trying to avoid them. If I don't get through the natural greiving process I'll think about meds for depression/anxiety. I won't let it go to far but you all know what I mean when I say "Arg, not another pill". I feel like I take a drug store every day as it is. I have called my doc, unfortunately I had to leave a message on his nurse's answering machine and so should hear back from them toward the end of the day. My doc is really good about calling himself if he is worried. I'll miss him when he retires next fall. He's been my GI doc for over 10 years. Thanks again for all of your replies.
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Nanners
Elite Member
Joined : Apr 2005
Posts : 14999
Posted 1/5/2012 12:32 PM (GMT -8)
I understand about not wanting to take more pills, we do take ALOT!! :) I tried to do it like you are, but eventually I had to get on them for about a year or so. I had the same situation of my husband telling me that he no longer wanted to be married to me (just fyi this is ex not current:), and it came out of the blue just like yours.

I didn't realize how depressed I was until friends pointed it out. And I loved the doc I had at the time, he told me that, yes I was depressed, but it didn't mean I was crazy, but that it was a medical issue and the serotonin levels in my brain had gotten out of whack and the meds helped to bring them back in right order. That helped me alot. Hopefully you are stronger than I was, and your husband won't be as bad of a jerk mine was afterwards. I think all the attacks I got after we split is what made things worse.

And if it is any comfort to you, I am now married to the most amazing guy. My ex was with me the years I was in remission, and my current husband has been with me the worst years with this darn disease, and is so supportive and takes wonderful care of me.

Good luck Crohnsmom10!! I support you all the way!
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Jen77
Veteran Member
Joined : Mar 2006
Posts : 2742
Posted 1/6/2012 12:11 AM (GMT -8)
(((HUGS))) My heart goes out to you. My husband and I went through a very rough patch a little over a year ago. He also wanted to end the marriage, and it was out of the blue too. We managed to work things out, and things are good now. But I remember how awful it was on my body, and emotionally. I had NO appetite to speak of, I'd literally force myself to eat. And yes it does throw you in to a flare like nothing else can it seems.

I know it's another pill to take. But it really can help. When your more calm and relaxed it helps with your Crohn's too. I'm also pretty sure that it can help with those mood swings with the pred also. If so that might be a good idea. You don't want to get yourself closer to surgery any faster with all this going on. Take care of yourself!
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crohnsmom10
Regular Member
Joined : Dec 2011
Posts : 25
Posted 1/6/2012 8:45 AM (GMT -8)
Jen 77, Thanks for your words. It is my hope that maybe something will change and we can work it out but that doesn't seem to likely at the moment but then it is very raw right now. I am still waiting to hear back from my doc but do plan to ask him what recommendations he has for antidepressants for patients with crohns. I know that some can be better than others.
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snohare
Veteran Member
Joined : Oct 2004
Posts : 2088
Posted 1/8/2012 2:18 PM (GMT -8)
My heart goes out to you. This disease is very tough on relationships, it's one reason why I am single...
I used to take Prozac for Seasonal Affective Disorder, and found that it had a very useful calming effect on my gut. (This makes sense as serotonin is actually manufactured in the gut, and is a major player in peristalsis in the smooth muscle cells; so anything improving a shortage of that, as Prozac does, might help with diarrhoea.) In the end I stayed on Prozac for a couple of years non-stop, and credit it with having a major part in calming the flare I had. Better than the major steroids in my (limited) experience !
Looking back I would say that being on Prozac also created long-term changes in my personality (I believe this is an effect SSRIs are known to have in some patients); for the better I would say, as I became much less inhibited... you may or may not find that you get - or want to have - this side effect ! nono
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chrisnsteph1022
Veteran Member
Joined : Apr 2003
Posts : 973
Posted 1/8/2012 4:03 PM (GMT -8)
I'm glad you called your GI. Don't be afraid of anyone 'making' you take steroids. I refuse to take them due to the side effects (mainly the mental ones). I just won't do it and all my GIs have known that. We work around it (took Entocort without any side effects). I also take Zoloft for depression.
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Becky77
Veteran Member
Joined : Dec 2005
Posts : 1768
Posted 1/8/2012 6:13 PM (GMT -8)
Steph said exactly what I was thinking! Even if your doctor does want you to take steroids, you don't HAVE to. You can always tell your doctor that you're not willing to do that right now. Maybe your doctor will have another option to try.

Also, I take prozac and it does help me not get as worked up and have as many side effects or flare when I'm in a stressful situation. I'm overall more relaxed than I'd naturally be, so I continue to take it. A lot of GIs have their patients on antidepressants or anti-anxiety meds because lowering your stress level does help you deal with this disease a bit better. Just know that sometimes you have to try a few before you find one that works for you. Some make you feel numb, while others cause side effects that you can't tolerate, so don't be afraid to go back to your doctor and tell them if it's not working for you.
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Matthew
Veteran Member
Joined : Oct 2004
Posts : 3932
Posted 1/9/2012 12:10 PM (GMT -8)
Snohare,

And all this time I've avoided this med? Well, I used to have a drink to get that effect (its the only way to get me on a dance floor, believe it! LOL).
Would it help with my Asperger's??

Matthew
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kazbern
Veteran Member
Joined : May 2010
Posts : 8384
Posted 1/9/2012 2:37 PM (GMT -8)
So so sorry to hear that your husband dropped this bomb, crohnsmom10. Nasty timing, too.

I understand your reluctance to take pred - what about entocort? It is effective in the terminal ileum and if your pain is lower right quadrant that sounds about right. Usually comes with much less systemic side effect.

I think healthy people would react the same way to this news (not the flare or bowel inflammation, but the loss of appetite and weight seems pretty normal for everyone that gets hit with awful news like this). I totally agree with you, though, that a Crohn's flare seems inevitable. Its so darn complicated and there's really nothing you can do to speed up your grief process.

{{{{HUGS}}}} to you.
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stripey
Veteran Member
Joined : Feb 2011
Posts : 1059
Posted 1/9/2012 2:54 PM (GMT -8)
Talk to your GI and explain why you would rather not take the pred and also discuss about having some sort of anxiety meds so that it helps get you through this time. Any med has got to be better than having a full blown flare and having to have surgery especially at a time when you are already feeling raw and emotional.

Hope time helps you and that you are able to talk as a couple and if cannot salvage relationship then at least get proper closure and able to move on without regrets. This sort of bomb shell is never easy to deal with and having the CD flare as well just makes it even worse so I hope things settle down for you soon.
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CrampyandCranky
Regular Member
Joined : Jan 2012
Posts : 35
Posted 1/9/2012 3:18 PM (GMT -8)
Hi everyone! I have just recently been diagnosed with CD, although I've have had symptoms since 2003. Due to insurance issues, I've lost my GI and my primary doesn't seem to understand or care about how sick I am. I was on Lialda first and it gave me wicked migraines. I am currently on a low dose of pred and librax. I am also going through a nasty custody battle and have never been more stressed in my life. Since my stress has gotten so out of control, I have been having a lot more health issues and don't know if they're linked to CD or not. I have what appear to be ulcers in my mouth and on my labia, most of my joints hurt, I am having circulation problems(my feet turn purple) I am running a fever on and off and that's all on top of the diarrhea, nausea and vomiting. My doc did give me a script for pain meds but now says he wants me off of them. I am all for not taking the pain meds, but at the same time I am so scared of the pain. It's the worst pain I've ever had and I have experienced a lot of pain.
Sorry for going on and on... this is just all so new to me and I don't get much support or answers from my doc. Thanks for listening :•)
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Matthew
Veteran Member
Joined : Oct 2004
Posts : 3932
Posted 1/10/2012 10:56 AM (GMT -8)
Crap! I hate when people who took an oath about "for better or worst!" act like its just an expression.
These kind of posts always make me want to hurt SOMEONE..

Cranky,
If you need them, TAKE THEM. That is what they were made for. Why suffer?? You have enough problems & trust me, depression & anxiety are going to make your pain worse. You might ask for a referal to a pain specialist in your area if your doc is unwilling to help with this. Its your right to be as pain-free as possible.

Sincerely,
Matthew
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crohnsmom10
Regular Member
Joined : Dec 2011
Posts : 25
Posted 1/10/2012 12:20 PM (GMT -8)
You guys are awesome! Thanks again for the support. My doc is going to hold off on the pred for a while. I feel like my Cimzia is starting to kick in, not so many liquid stools and minimal RLQ pain. I am going to move up to Rx strength reflux meds to help with the increased epigastic pain. Doing O.K. but I'm sure there is more to come. I really do appreciate all of your comments and support. Thanks again...
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snohare
Veteran Member
Joined : Oct 2004
Posts : 2088
Posted 1/11/2012 11:02 AM (GMT -8)
Matt, as I said you may not wish to have this side-effect. In my case it changed me from a person who watched situations develop, but never commented out loud or intervened in any way, to a much more proactive person willing to stand up for beliefs and make efforts towards goals. That I would say has proven to be an advantage to me, and is a distinct change in personality.
However, my concern now is that this process of disinhibition has not yet stopped, and where may it take me ? I wouldn't like to use it as a defence in court - but conceivably it could come to that. Not a thought I like. Others on this forum in the past described wild mood swings - "the roller coaster ride from hell" - which had them driving their car full speed at a wall. In one instance recorded in the media, serotonin syndrome was implicated in a youth's shooting spree at his family home. I believe class actions have resulted from allegations that safety data were hidden before licensing of some SSRIs.
eyes But yes, it might help ! smilewinkgrin

Good to hear of improvement, crohnsmom. Long may it continue. yeah
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Matthew
Veteran Member
Joined : Oct 2004
Posts : 3932
Posted 1/13/2012 12:46 PM (GMT -8)
Well considering my (probable) autism, I'd say I might end up married, with children.
Wouldn't that be a terrible thing??! ROFLOL

Matt
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snohare
Veteran Member
Joined : Oct 2004
Posts : 2088
Posted 1/13/2012 12:58 PM (GMT -8)
idea Let me know how you get on. There might even be hope for me - the way the economy's going in the UK, being a jobless single male is not going to be such a disadvantage any more, while even my industrial strength sense of humour will be an asset ! smilewinkgrin
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AuburnByrd
Regular Member
Joined : Mar 2011
Posts : 49
Posted 1/13/2012 11:24 PM (GMT -8)
Oh I SO know what you are going through. I had our 3rd child in Dec. 2001, had a major lasting flare right afterwards, had gallbladder issues in 2002, found out my ex was having an affair and that he'd gotten on drugs, was working through that while still in a flare, had kidney stones in 2002 & 2003, had my gallbladder out in April 2003, hospitalized for an obstruction for 2 weeks in June 2003, then had a resection where they removed 3 ft of intestine in Sept. 2003. Served divorce papers in Nov. 2003 but we ended up going to counseling (he went all of 3 times). The drug use made him become abusive so I kicked him out in May 2004 - all the while, never quite recovering from surgery and having 2 docs tell me I'd never work again. So there I was, responsible for a house payment, 3 children ages 3, 8, and 10, and had no job. The next month I found out not only had he had another affair but had a 6 month old baby with someone else!

Things were horrible but by what I call the Grace of God, I was able to make it through. Somehow, my file ended up in a different doctor's hand and I was given a shot at being in the drug study for Humira - not only getting the drug free but being paid (a little) to do it. I felt better immediately! I had a call from the school principal, asking me if I would teach dance after school as an extra activity for the kids willing to pay (I had been a dance teacher before getting sick) and things just went on from there. I started out slow with what I could do and the number of hours I could handle - all the while, being able to bring my kids with me!

I look back now and it's been 7 years since my divorced was finalized. I can't say it was all easy because it wasn't. But I'm here to tell you that you CAN do it and make it through this tough time. I am a much stronger person for it and I LOVE who I have become. I have more faith in myself and I am able to talk to others about divorce, being a single, sole caretaker, and can talk to anyone about Crohn's without thinking it's 'gross.' It's all a part of life - everyone poops but we just have more issues with it (and more often).

Here I am now, remarried in March and together raising 7 kids. God sure has a sense of humor too because I married a plumber! :p (They know about poop as much as we do!) Sure, I had my downs but I also had my ups! But one thing I learned is not to shut myself off like I did when I was super sick and when my ex was doing everything he could to make me feel bad about myself. After kicking him out, I surrounded myself with people I knew who loved me and who could help life my spirits.

It will all be OK! I am proof that you can come through the worst, look back and give yourself a pat on the back.
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