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Need info on dating someone with Crohn's

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Crohn's Disease
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Southpawcannon
New Member
Joined : Jan 2012
Posts : 5
Posted 1/5/2012 11:21 PM (GMT -6)
I've been dating a woman for a little over 2 months now who told me in the beginning she has Crohn's. Hopefully this isn't some forum she is ever on(she says she rarely ever gets online yet is very knowledgable of her condition). She is 26. During the time we have dated she had a flare up following a stomach bug that put her in the hospital Christmas Day until 4 days later. I visited her each day to see how she was doing and to just be supportive. She is a only 4'9" and normally 95lbs but she barely weighed 80 pounds going in. While this wasn't her worst(she's had colon resection before and had been in the hospital for a month), I did see a pretty good example of what she has to go through. I'm encouraging her to stick to the plan of a better diet per her GI doc as well as going to be sure she goes to the gym with me starting next week after her Remicade. She has been on prednisone which is exactly as described by what I've seen on her...while it helps with the pain the side effects suck ass. She's lately not sleeping well, very moody yet aware and gave me the heads up it could happen, swelling and has been experiencing lots of pain and sensitivity in her joints and to the touch.

I definitely like this woman and want to do whatever I can to be supportive. What are some threads, sites, etc any of you might recommend that I take a look at so I can continue to better understand what she's going through and how I can help her get through this to feel better?
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dragonfly137927
Veteran Member
Joined : Sep 2006
Posts : 2527
Posted 1/6/2012 12:07 AM (GMT -6)
welcome to the site, I too am about your girlfriends height and weight I went through 4 suregeries back in 07/08 and have had this disease since I was 8 (24 years now). CCFA.org is a great starter site as far as information. As far as the gym goes I would be wary not all of us can nadle working out (i even joined a Curves since the owner had CD and the machines etc were all supposed to be easy on the Crohn's arthritis issues) it casued me to be bed ridden for 2 weeks. every person is different as far as excersize and diet thouigh and you kind of have to test the waters.
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madigascar
Regular Member
Joined : Jun 2011
Posts : 123
Posted 1/6/2012 12:38 AM (GMT -6)
Hi southpawcannon... Bless your heart for wanting to be supportive of her through this tough time. I do not have Crohns but my husband does. He had Crohns since he was 14-15 or so. He's now 34. When we were dating, his Crohns was not as bad but we definitely didn't have a "normal" dating life. He didn't like to go out to eat and stuff, so we kept it pretty low key. The last two years have been horrible as he was very very sick. He went from about 155 lbs to 106 lbs and he's 5'9".

Seeing your loved one sick is really hard. Especially with this disease because there's no magic med combo or diet that indefinitely works. Everyday is a struggle. BUT, if they are the "one" the things you go through together really makes your relationship stronger. Also you see how strong that person is.

Well, we had a daughter and she's now 16 months old. My husband had surgery and took his colon out on 10/31/11. And life has been great! We go out with friends for dinner, spend time with our daughter as a family, and we're planning a trip to Alaska in the summer. I appreciate him and he appreciates me more after going through together what we went through the last few years. I love him and he's amazing!
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JavaJay
Regular Member
Joined : Mar 2009
Posts : 452
Posted 1/6/2012 7:22 AM (GMT -6)
Welcome southpawcannon. I have to agree with dragonfly. Look into CCFA.org. They have support groups and it might help if the two of you went to one together. It gives you a support structure not only to help you in times of need, but you can be there to help others that need it. I have learned a lot about this disease from CCFA. I have had Crohn's for about 23 years now and I have to say that CCFA helped me deal with this disease a lot. I have gone to lectures put out by them and have used their support groups.
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firecracker1
Regular Member
Joined : Apr 2007
Posts : 208
Posted 1/6/2012 7:29 AM (GMT -6)
Kudos to you for being supportive. CCFA.org and Healingwell.com are the two best out there. You can find a lot of info on Healingwell just by searching other posts. Your girlfriends seems to be in a flare up of Crohn's. Beware of suggesting any diet or workouts to her. Crohn's induced joint pain can be very painful and certain exercises can make it worse. When I have a lot of joint pain all I can do is moderate paced walking. It both helps the pain and lifts my mood. As for her diet, that is her choice. Those without Crohn's disease suggesting diets to those with Crohn's disease is frustrating to us. I am surprised her GI has even suggested a diet to her. Any GI I have ever had just tells me to eat what does not bother my gut. Also, prednison causes major cravings that don't often benefit Crohn's. When I was on it I would eat 2 Big Macs in one sitting. Normally, I hate fast food and don't go near it. The absolute best thing you can do for her is to just be there. Don't try to solve any Crohn's related problems or issues she has. Just be there and listen. That's the BEST thing a person can do for someone with a chronic illness. She is lucky to have someone like you who is looking for suggestions and resources to help her.
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Nanners
Elite Member
Joined : Apr 2005
Posts : 14999
Posted 1/6/2012 8:22 AM (GMT -6)
I have to agree with firecracker1 here, don't try to solve any Crohns related problems she has, just be there and listen and support as much as you can. If she is feeling bad, and too tired to fix something to eat, maybe you can offer to fix it for her, or get things for her.

And I have to agree not alot of us can do too much exercise. This disease not only affects our guts but our joints, eyes, skin etc. So if all she can do is walk on a treadmill for a couple minutes, at least she has done that. But don't be surprised if she can't do that. A few exercise on this forum, but most of them are not flaring as she is right now.

Its great you are trying to educate yourself. And she is lucky to have you, Hugs!
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Txgirl30
Regular Member
Joined : Apr 2011
Posts : 29
Posted 1/6/2012 11:58 AM (GMT -6)
I have to agree on the just being there for her. Be her rock, her shoulder to cry on, her go to person when she needs to vent her worries, fears etc.

Sounds like she is a lucky girl !!!
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pb4
Elite Member
Joined : Feb 2004
Posts : 20577
Posted 1/6/2012 12:57 PM (GMT -6)
Hey Southpawcannon,
I think you are awesome for taking the time to join up here and ask questions to better understand and help your girlfriend...the others above have some great suggestions....regarding the prednisone and trouble sleeping, it's pretty common to have this side effect UNLESS all the pred is taken first thing in the early morning, but that's about the only control one can have over their pred, the rest of the side effects cannot be controlled much, besides trying to cut down on salty foods to help with puffyness that pred can cause but the cravings for some people over take them.

This site itself is full of info that you're looking for, I encourage you to read through the many pages here to learn more about how complex this disease can be and how very individual it is as well since no two CDers are exactly alike, therefore different things will help different CDers.


Exercise is great and super important, but since she was just in the hospital that's a pretty good indication of how terribly she's doing with her CD at the moment...in time when she feels better I think that's when some kind of exercise routine would be good for her....infact I think considering how tiny she is to begin with, yoga would be great for her and there's so many forms of yoga to choose from, pilates would be good too. Most importantly, she'll have a good idea when she can start and what all she can tolerate, so gentle suggestions on your part is the way I'd go, you don't want to come off "pushy" on her cuz if she's not ready then she may feel like she's disappointing you and herself and you don't want her feeling that way cuz with the way CD can affect us emotionally it's bad enough (some of us tend to beat ourselves up emotionally often because of guilty feeling for being sick even though we cannot help it that we got sick).

Hope she feels better soon, best of luck to you both.
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Southpawcannon
New Member
Joined : Jan 2012
Posts : 5
Posted 1/6/2012 2:40 PM (GMT -6)
Thank you all for the feedback. It's been greatly appreciated. I'll most certainly read through the site more on the coming days. In regards to her GI suggesting a diet for her, she said he's well-versed in the subject and has written books on it even. She has admitted to not taking care of herself well in the past, and this time around for the sake of her kid along with herself, is wanting to better so she can finish college and just have a better quality of life in general, or as good as one can have with this disease.

Two other questions I have while I'm thinking about it...how has it affected being intimate? And, is swimming a better exercise option for her? She's getting her Remicade today and is on Prednisone for one more week of that makes a difference.
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firecracker1
Regular Member
Joined : Apr 2007
Posts : 208
Posted 1/6/2012 2:49 PM (GMT -6)
Wow! She's lucky to have a GI that is well versed in diet. That is very rare : ) Many more GI dr's s/b more educated and aware of diet and the effect it can have on Crohn's.
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dragonfly137927
Veteran Member
Joined : Sep 2006
Posts : 2527
Posted 1/7/2012 12:39 AM (GMT -6)
Swimming is one of the better forms since it is low impact on the joints with me I have to be careful swimming to much makes my asthma flare
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