I certainly need some
thing; change 'I'm barely coping' to 'not coping at all'. I feel utterly strung out with no way of dissipating the tension. In short, this culminated me yelling at my IBD nurse, so that now she probably thinks I'm a monster :/ What happened was that my mum tried phoning her and actually got through to her (surprise in itself). My mum spoke to her for a bit and handed the phone to me. Can't say I actually wanted to speak to her really and the conversation just got utterly on my nerves. She went on about
how my GP should be the one to prescribe the drinks; that if he couldn't do it, then the hospital wouldn't be able to get me them; that I would have to go on to the Fortisips if need be; that this shouldn't have happened, that they had never had a problem with enteral nutrition before.
Can't remember at exactly what point but I couldn't hack it and yelled down the phone at her something like, 'This is ridiculous! Do you know what's at stake here, an ileostomy??', then handed the phone to my mum, saying I can't deal with this anymore. I do mean yelled too; not just raised my voice slightly.
At this stage, I couldn't give a rat's arse for any of 'em, I mean not a rat's arse. Hate them all. I left a message on my nurse's answering machine yesterday, did she get back to me? Did she bugger. Did my GP leave me in the lurch? Absolutely! I'm disgusted with all of them. If I had known what was going to happen I would not have started this diet; I did not need this stress.
As it so happens, by coincidence I have an appointment with a colorectal surgeon tomorrow. I was trying to defer surgery; considering just going ahead with it now, if it's a viable option. Basically, the more that I get away from the wastes-of-spaces that are my medical 'team', the better.
EDIT: Well, it's sort of sorted, in other words not really. But I'm supposed to be picking up a prescript
ion at the hospital tomorrow for 6 weeks' worth of Elemental 028 and then filling the prescript
ion at my surgery's sister practice a few miles away. If I don't get the drinks by Friday then stretching them out to Monday will be a problem.
Another demoralising thing is that my gut symptoms have become almost as bad as before I started the elemental diet. Stress and being strung out can't be helping. I'm worried, 'cos I don't know what it means. Whether the elemental diet simply isn't working or whether, as killcolitis said about
it, it 'gets worse before it gets better'.
Yet another edit: Feeling guilty now, so I think I'll ring up the nurse tomorrow to say sorry for shouting at her. If anybody is in the wrong, really, it was the PCP who cut off my funding for the drinks w/o any accountability and my GP for apparently going along with it without demur.
Post Edited (NiceCupOfTea) : 3/6/2012 1:12:58 PM (GMT-7)