NCOT, I'm sorry you are having such a hard time of it and can honestly say I have been there, many years ago. I had been dx at 17 yo and at that time tried all the drugs available, which to be honest weren't many and spent many months on ensure/fortisip only diet and when I tried to eat again would be petrified of the pain and D that I knew would come. I still managed to work full time but looking back have no idea how the hell I managed it, I was getting up 5 times a night to the bathroom and each time I would be in there for 30-45 mins, let alone the number of times during the day and not being able to eat at work as didn't want to keep running to bathroom.
After 3 years of it I felt like my life had ended and couldn't see any light at the end of the tunnel, I may get better for a few weeks and then would go downhill again. None of my friends could understand what I was going through and my parents could only watch and try to comfort me but no one could take away the pain, fear, exhaustion or sadness of not being able to live my life.
I too had a stricture and disease in colon and small bowel and as nothing was working they offered my a temp loop ileostomy to allow the colon to properly rest and see if that would help put the disease in remission. I had the op done 6 weeks before my 21st birthday and as soon as I came round the first thing I noticed was no pain and then no running to the bathroom. I was able to eat what I wanted and again even though I had disease in the small bowel had no pain from it. I was in hospital 5 days and on the second day after the op told my surgeon that I never wanted it reversed. What he hadn't told me and what they hadn't known until they operated was how bad the colon was. He said that although it was my decision, in his opinion the colon was so badly diseased that it was only a matter of time before it perforated.
All this was 20 years ago, this month actually and even though I still have periods of disease in the small bowel and have had further ops for strictures, abscesses and changing it to a permament ileo and having colon removed I have never regretted the decision. I looked on it that I have a part of me that doesn't work properly and is causing me extreme pain and suffering and stopping me having a life and something could be done to stop that pain and suffering and I grabbed it with both hands.
Having the surgery is a personal decision and many refuse to even consider it but you have to make that on your own. For me it was a case of I had had enough and only you will know if and when you get to that place.
Whatever happens I hope and pray something works soon and that it gets easier for you.