You must not have seen my thread... <_<www.healingwell.com/community/default.aspx?f=17&m=2758442
Anyway, to answer your question... I take them to my heart. Deeply and personally so. I still find it hard to accept that my disease got to the point I needed an ileostomy, for example. Logically, I know $41t happens to some people and I just happen to be one of those people. Sometimes I blame myself or my earlier doctors, because it's easier to do that - to imagine the outcome could have been averted somehow - than to accept it was pure, blind chance.
I think you have it rather hard too, and it's frustrating that nothing so far has worked for you. How you accept that lightly, however, I don't know. I don't think I'm the best person to ask on how to come to terms with things :-/