How do you deal psychologically with Crohn's gifts?

You must not have seen my thread... <_<

www.healingwell.com/community/default.aspx?f=17&m=2758442

Anyway, to answer your question... I take them to my heart. Deeply and personally so. I still find it hard to accept that my disease got to the point I needed an ileostomy, for example. Logically, I know $41t happens to some people and I just happen to be one of those people. Sometimes I blame myself or my earlier doctors, because it's easier to do that - to imagine the outcome could have been averted somehow - than to accept it was pure, blind chance.

I think you have it rather hard too, and it's frustrating that nothing so far has worked for you. How you accept that lightly, however, I don't know. I don't think I'm the best person to ask on how to come to terms with things :-/

For me, I take it to heart at first but then its all about keeping in motion, though not necessarily physical motion but more about distractions and finding positve things to focus on no matter how small. My flares pretty much bring everything from the daily fevers, chills, bleeding, the dry eyes you mentioned, joint pain, knee swelling, vomiting, weight loss, mouth sores, cramping, and last year I developed my first fistula. When i got the fistula i thought everything was over. I've refused most of the major meds for crohn's because I know my body reacts oddly to everything and I'm not ready to deal with more side effects yet and I totally felt helpless. Somehow though after prednisone and multiple antibiotic treatments last year it stabilized for the most part. Its still there and I know it will probably cause me trouble again one of these days but I will deal with it when it comes. Thats all I can do. I cry when I need to. The joint pains and chills during flares make things unbearable especially since a major part of my work includes doing art and I always told myself that as long as I can do that I will find a way to be happy, but with those pains I usually cant even do that which definitely stirs up a lot of emotion. But still I see how many people have this disease just as bad and much worse and I tell myself to just keep going. I started doing some art when I was in the hospital and thats how i made it through my time there. I try to be thankful for every moment that i'm not feeling like I'm dying, But positivity is something that has to be constantly worked on and when you are in the position you are in as I was with the abscess and fistula last year it is so hard to keep moving because it can easily consume all of your attention.

Hi Minnie, sorry you're having a hard time. I'm a lot like Labrador in that I try to keep as busy/distracted as possible but recognize that it's okay to cry too. In the past year I've probably cried more days than I haven't (and I'm not usually a crier).

Do you have a support network--family, significant other, close friend, etc--you can talk to about what's going on? My husband certainly bears a lot of the emotional weight of my illness. This site is also great. Another option is to find a therapist to talk to. I've seen one specifically to deal with dealing with the emotional issues caused by my physical illnesses. Finally, I've found that writing in a journal helps me unload some of my thoughts when I'm feeling overwhelmed.

It sucks to be sick. It sucks to wake up each morning and not know how you're going to feel. We are always here to listen to you, but it's important to try to find people you can find to talk to in person.

minnie - I suppose it's good you finally have a definite diagnosis instead of living with unpleasant symptoms in limbo land. But the abscess, the fissures, the stricture in your rectum and the ileitis all make it sound like Crohn's, not UC. As for the 'gifts', they are part and parcel of IBD (or the side-effects of meds). The only way not to have any extraintestinal manifestations is to not have Crohn's, full stop. And that isn't going to happen until if/when a cure is found.

I do understand the rage and envy. On one level, it's pointless: it is what it is. But on another level... yes, things are hard to accept, truly accept. I think it helps to get it out, to talk/write about it, but talking about it once won't be enough (unless it's the mother of all conversations). It might take weeks, months, or years to accept something - or you may accept your current situation, then things change and you have to adjust all over again. Basically, being ill sucks. If you can afford it, seeing a therapist experienced in chronic illness would probably be a good idea. (I'm still waiting to see one on the NHS.)

I go through the stereotypical grief stages...at least I think I do. I get really angry first - for a short spurt of time, then get into that "dark place", then I fight back as much as I can. Right now I am angry that I can't get back to "my normal". I am trying to avoid the dark place (have too much other "tragedy" in my life to let disease eat at me - pun intended).
I really try to follow the distraction that others mentioned. I use music, math puzzles, silly movies and my husband telling me bad jokes to not think as much as I can.
I have also really encouraging people to use the "but maybe" theory. When something or someone is doing something that really bothers me, I stop and say But maybe and come up with a reason that things could be worse or an explanation for the action. i.e my knees hurt so much I can't climb the stairs...but maybe I am lucky that I can still go out. i.e That jerk just cut ahead of me in the bathroom.....but maybe they have Crohns disease and are in trouble.
It is giving me a little zen.

My Fiance has Chrones. What are you all talking about? He Bleed out one week at the hospital. Never knew the reason. Given 4 pints of blood. Is this just the start? he is 40