Yes, the sad truth of it is that we we will suffer from some illness or other and we will all die - that's the the nature of life. But along the way, we make meaningful relationships, smile and help each other, help other creatures in need, and find a way to muddle along together.
To me, this is a way to cope - to not focus on me so much, but to find small ways to help people around me, without expecting anything in return. My cats and dogs (all rescues) and helping my friends and my husband with whatever I can do makes me feel better about
the pointlessness of it all. I think I feel a lot of existential depression, and trying to help others helps me make my life more meaningful. I am also taking viibyrd which is helping keep the emotional lows more manageable, and I also see a psychologist.
I completely understand where you are with the dogs, because this is where I was as well. I had one cat (my husbands cat from before we got married), and when I was at my worst when my husband was in the hospital, I basically handed her over to a friend to care for, because I wasn't up to the very small task of feeding her and cleaning out the litter box which I had done for years!
Before we got the dogs, my major concern was that I would not take care of them if I spiraled into that state again. And my husband said to me that unless he was hospitalized, he would take care of them if I couldn't. Also, one of my friends also promised to step in and take care of them if I couldn't. This support gave me courage to try to manage. It's been 2 years and so far, I have done ok. Sometimes doing things for them seems like a chore, but most times, they are fun and rewarding and give me so much affection in return, that I quite like it. I suggest talking with your parents and seeing if they can assume shared responsibility for the dog without making you feel guilty if you don't pull your share of the dog work.
I have been on 30 mgs of prednisone for my back, and I've had 2 injections which haven't helped much. I also take NSAIDs. But essentially, I taper to 20 and the pain returns. Oh well, I am still functional, and thankfully not bat crap insane from the steroids.
I am going to try taking a 1/2 hour walk today to start off some gentle exercise. If you feel up to it, join me, and let me know how it went.
Have a good day.
Husband with Crohn's
Meds: Canasa (1gm), Lialda (4.8 gms), Remicade (10mg/kg every 8 weeks)
Supplements: VSL3 (2 packets), florastor (4 caps), bee propolis and lots of Greek yogurt
Currently In Remission