Hey NCOT, I know you say that faith isn't your thing, but I think it can be. I really do. Not trying to be pushy, but please email me if you'd like to talk about
some things. I have some close family members who struggle with depression. In our church's last semi-annual conference where the leaders spoke via satellite to all members of the world, one of them specifically spoke on mental illness and especially depression. I actually thought of you a bit when it was going on. Here is the link to it, if you'd like. Again, not trying to push, I really am trying to help. I know how dark and deep and difficult it can be where you're at. It breaks my heart that you're there, and I really want to help.www.lds.org/general-conference/2013/10/like-a-broken-vessel?lang=eng
CD 2010, Fistula, Pancreatitis, C. Diff.
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"These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world." John 16:33