I have pain because I have a RV fistula. And when I'm flaring, any weight on my abdomen hurts. It's really great of you to be so thoughtful of her with this.
My husband and I have just had to experiment a lot with different angles and positions. A lot of it is emotional for me. I enjoy making love with my husband, but since it's started hurting I start off feeling tense. I've had to come to terms with being ok if we have to stop. I used to just feel so guilty about it because it made him feel guilty for hurting me. Or I'd feel guilty for getting so far and then have to stop. But if I didn't stop, I eventually started to dread it but want to at the same time.
So as you experiment with different positions, etc., focus on your love for each other. That's why it's called "love-making." So acceptance of yourself and each other if you have to stop or if it didn't work at that angle or position. And reaffirm that it's not about the actual orgasm, but expressing your love for each other as an whole overall experience.
CD, c. diff., gastroparesis, fistula
"For this thing I besought the Lord thrice that it depart from me. He said, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities; I take pleasure in infirmities, reproaches, necessities, persecutions, distresses, for when I am weak, then am I strong." 2 Cor 12:8-10