Posted 3/5/2015 8:56 AM (GMT -7)
I agree with 73monte. That said, he may have had relationship problems in the past associated with the disease (e.g., a partner ending the relationship because "she couldn't deal" with him being sick). Trust me, there are a lot of us here who have had that happen. Crohn's and chronic pain also have significant impacts on your mental health and that may be why he wants to keep some distance in the relationship. I certainly struggled for a long time with not wanting to burden someone with all my issues and count myself very lucky that have found a supportive partner (in his case, he has had a lot of health issues as well, which helps him to understand what I'm going through). Still, even after six years together, I still struggle to explain to him the extend of the illness' impact on my body, especially things like fatigue, which everyone experiences at some time. I can't fully explain to him what fatigue means to *me* and my body, so his response is "yes, I know you're tired."
Partnerning with someone with a chronic illness is challenging for both parties. The best way to approach this IMO is to be as open, honest, and genuine in expressing how you feel while not pushing him to disclose things he may be uncomfortable talking about. For you, you have to be accepting that he won't tell you everything. But he should know what you're thinking too.
30s female. Crohn's ileocolitis dx2/06. Proctitis dx 10/12. Arthritis dx9/09. GERD dx1/13. Asthma dx4/13. Lyme dx 7/14. Raynaud's. Chronic migraines. Chronic chest pain. Anxiety.
Meds: Remicade every 4 weeks, 75mg Nuvigil, 75mg Trazodone, 50mg Zoloft, Klonopin, Zyrtec, Maxalt, tumeric
Pentasa, Pred, PPIs, Topamax, Lyrica, Gabapentin, Lialda, doxyxycline