Food and the holidays-just whining!

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gumby44
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 4392
   Posted 12/5/2017 7:27 AM (GMT -7)   
It was my birthday yesterday and we had dinner reservations that I cancelled because as usual, my gut was acting up and I didn't feel like eating a big meal. I did the same thing on our anniversary in November. My husband was totally understanding about it, but I felt really guilty. I suggested that we plan non-food related celebrations from now on, especially when it's just the two of us. We bought tickets to a play to go to in a couple of weeks, so that will be fun.

I just get exhausted from not feeling well day after day. We are visiting relatives in Texas for Christmas, and I find myself more worried about sharing the bathroom than seeing everyone. It's pathetic!

I'm trying to focus on non food ways to celebrate life.... any thoughts. Whining and positive ideas are both invited!
58 yr. old female, diagnosed with Crohn's in terminal ileum Sept-Oct. 2007. Dx. with c.difficile 1/12, 10/14, 11/15, 1/16. Fecal transplant on 2/24/16, and so far, no more c.diff!

5/20/14: Ileo-colic resection surgery after stricturing and partial bowel obstruction.
Not currently on any Crohn's meds and in remission, but struggling with bad IBS.

NiceCupOfTea
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2010
Total Posts : 10098
   Posted 12/5/2017 7:59 AM (GMT -7)   
Happy belated birthday, gumby >_>

I completely understand where you are coming from and it is miserable. People who never have to think about how food affects them really don't get it. I used to be more willing to live with the consequences than I am now, but that's partly because the consequences seem to go on for longer than they used to. I can live with two bad hours, but two bad days is overkill. Oddly enough, I did better when food went through me faster than it does now.

If I do go out for a meal, then I find eating lightly the day before and making sure my bowels are calm and empty helps. As does taking pre-emptive paracetamol and codeine. (Paracetamol on its own is useless.) But that's only helpful for a one-off meal unfortunately, not day after day.

Think everyone here understands the bathroom anxieties as well :-/
Dx Crohn's in June 2000. (Yay skull)
Tried: 5-ASAs, azathioprine, 6MP, Remicade, methotrexate, Humira, diets.
1st surgery 20/2/13 - subtotal colectomy with end ileostomy.
2nd surgery 10/7/15 - ileorectal anastomosis. Stoma reversed and ileum connected to the rectum.
Current status: Chronic flare. Do I have any other kind?
Current meds: 50mg 6MP; Entyvio (started 3/11/16)

lamb61
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 1831
   Posted 12/5/2017 8:43 AM (GMT -7)   
Aw, sorry you didn't get to have your birthday dinner. I know exactly how you feel. Even if I try and watch my food intake for a couple of days before my gut usually manages to mess up plans. I don't even want to think of the things I've missed out on because of CD. One year DH got upset because he missed out on "his" anniversary dinner because I was flaring and had no interest in food. Next time I'm going to tell him to go himself if it's that freaking important to eat...

I like the nonfood celebrations idea. Especially if it's something you can reschedule if you aren't feeling up to it.

Good luck with your Christmas trip. The toilet situation is why I consistently miss Christmas Eve at MIL's house. 20+ people and one toilet just makes me nervous which of course makes me have to go.
DX with CD Aug. 1982
Gerd secondary to crohns
Entyvio
Methotrexate
Monthly b-12 injections
40 mg Protonix / twice daily
Zoloft
xanax
folic acid

73monte
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 1776
   Posted 12/5/2017 7:06 PM (GMT -7)   
Gumby,

So sorry that you had to cancel your dinner plans. A belated Happy Birthday though. I think it's a good idea to plan other modes of celebration in the future. Food certainly doesn't have to play a part. Plays, movies, nature trails, or even relaxing by the seaside or at any beautiful setting.

It's great that you have such an understanding Husband. That's a true blessing. Of course being a male, I suppose I'm a bit bias. (LOL).

Hope you feel better soon, and the Holidays turn out well.

gumby44
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 4392
   Posted 12/6/2017 6:56 AM (GMT -7)   
Thanks lamb and Tom,
Yeah, my husband is terrific with all of this. I know I'm lucky for that! Thanks for the good wishes!
59 yr. old female, diagnosed with Crohn's in terminal ileum Sept-Oct. 2007. Dx. with c.difficile 1/12, 10/14, 11/15, 1/16. Fecal transplant on 2/24/16, and so far, no more c.diff!

5/20/14: Ileo-colic resection surgery after stricturing and partial bowel obstruction.
Not currently on any Crohn's meds and in remission, but struggling with bad IBS.

Newmommy26
New Member


Date Joined Nov 2017
Total Posts : 13
   Posted 12/6/2017 9:09 AM (GMT -7)   
Gumby happy belated birthday! How about a couples massage for a non-food related activity? I’ve been trying to get my OH to do it with me for ages and while he agreed in principle, it has not come into fruition yet.

clo2014
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2015
Total Posts : 724
   Posted 12/6/2017 9:42 PM (GMT -7)   
Happy Belated Birthday Gumby!

It stinks when you don't feel well. It seems as though Crohns always messes up special holidays for us.

I like the celebrations that are not centered on food. Ones that are open ended and can be cancelled are good.

We went to visit family.... No body cooked...and they did not want anyone to use their kitchen. It was premade supermarket stuff and carbs and more carbs. By the time we left I was sicker than a dog. At least there was more than one bathroom. They just don't know...and everyone is afraid to ask... Next time I will speak out more...or take Ensure drinks with me.. Hopefully you won't have that issue.

Hope you feel better soon!

Clo
06/12-07/14 symptoms start, no diagnosis.12/14 diagnosed UC & diverticulitis. 01/15 hosp- fistulas, DX changed to Crohns, 02/15 developed new skin rashes, eye problems and painful joints 06/15 Hosp.2x again.. new specialist.Said was worse case he's seen. 7/16 hosp 5mm Stricture stricturplasty to 15 mm.09/16 colostomy. Meds: Remicade, methtrexate, prednison,folic acid, vit D, calcium, pro biotic,

gumby44
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 4392
   Posted 12/7/2017 5:22 AM (GMT -7)   
Thanks Newmommy and Clo! My sister in law just asked me to send her a grocery list of what I can eat at Christmas. That was very nice of her, but the problem is, I don't have any real answers except that I'm lactose intolerant. I can eat something one day and feel fine and then eat the exact same food and feel sick the next. I told her not to worry about it at all.

I'm going to just try the best I can to focus on enjoying my family and let food take a back seat to that. Thanks for the support and happy holidays to everyone!
59 yr. old female, diagnosed with Crohn's in terminal ileum Sept-Oct. 2007. Dx. with c.difficile 1/12, 10/14, 11/15, 1/16. Fecal transplant on 2/24/16, and so far, no more c.diff!

5/20/14: Ileo-colic resection surgery after stricturing and partial bowel obstruction.
Not currently on any Crohn's meds and in remission, but struggling with bad IBS.

Newmommy26
New Member


Date Joined Nov 2017
Total Posts : 13
   Posted 12/7/2017 7:21 AM (GMT -7)   
Gumby, the thought was very nice though! Really sorry food is such a pain for you. Is it likely to get better? I read in your siggy that you are struggling with bad IBS.

My inlaws who know what’s going made us a CURRY (repeatedly), a pretty hot one at that. Then again, this is the same lot who offered so send me birthday cake while I have a feeding tube. And yes, they know it’s exclusively enteral and nutridrinks. Some people eh! Must be a blessing to be unweighted by the world’s problems. :D

gumby44
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 4392
   Posted 12/7/2017 2:31 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi new mommy,
Sorry about your in laws. It sounds like you should bring your own food once you are off enteral feedings. My other sis in law (who is also truly a nice person) sent me a birthday card saying "I hope you can eat cake today." It did make me roll my eyes, but I know her intent was kind, so I took it that way. I guess we probably mess up with things we don't understand with others. I don't like people who are deliberately mean or insensitive, but I can pretty much forgive people whose heart is in the right place.

As far as if it will get better for me, I really don't know! I'm waiting til January when my new insurance and deductible kick in, and then I am going to request a colonoscopy. It will be about two years since the last one and I'm not on maintenance meds. It might all be IBS, but I'll be really annoyed if the Crohn's is back and I'm ignoring it! Thanks for your support and I hope you make it through the holidays ok too!
59 yr. old female, diagnosed with Crohn's in terminal ileum Sept-Oct. 2007. Dx. with c.difficile 1/12, 10/14, 11/15, 1/16. Fecal transplant on 2/24/16, and so far, no more c.diff!

5/20/14: Ileo-colic resection surgery after stricturing and partial bowel obstruction.
Not currently on any Crohn's meds and in remission, but struggling with bad IBS.
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