I know what you mean about
being too mindful of one's thoughts, which is why I find mindfulness pretty useless for me: the very last thing on earth I need most of the time is more time alone with my own thoughts.
I highly doubt you enjoyed
being sick, but it was something you were familiar with - better the devil you know than the one you don't, etc. I know I felt pretty bereft after my first surgery and missed the endless hospital visits in a weird way. I didn't have a job to return to and there was a hole in my life that I didn't know how to fill. I'd had a similar experience in the past, when a forum that I used to spend 12 hours a day on disappeared. I'd been so addicted to the fake drama of the forum that real life seemed empty and boring by comparison.
Long story short, it takes a long time (at least it does if you're me), but eventually you find new stuff to replace the old stuff with. You can perhaps hurry it along by finding volunteer jobs to do, groups to join, etc. - I never really tried that in either case, so I'm not sure, but it makes sense that it would help.
100% agreed about
mental health. Even in this day and age, few medical people seem to really understand or sympathise with it.
Dx Crohn's in June 2000. (Yay )
Tried: 5-ASAs, azathioprine, 6MP, Remicade, methotrexate, Humira, diets.
1st surgery 20/2/13 - subtotal colectomy with end ileostomy.
2nd surgery 10/7/15 - ileorectal anastomosis. Stoma reversed and ileum connected to the rectum.
Current status: Chronic flare. Do I have any other kind?
Current meds: 50mg 6MP; Entyvio (started 3/11/16)