So sorry Texikka, you have a huge amount of things to deal with at a young age.
I had renal failure from Crohns, and it landed me in intensive care. Spent two months in hospital, surgeries, treatments, back and forth.... things can look very dark indeed.
Is your dialysis temporary, or are they not sure? It's so much for you to deal with, on top of the Crohns (and psoriasis).
Really, things can improve a lot for you, if they can treat the issues one at a time.
Money problems make everything worse... I feel for you.
Please hold on, and have hope that things can improve. It doesn't help to worry about
future crap, when you already have enough going on! Take whatever care you can get right now, and try not to worry about
the future. It's certainly possible things will improve for you in time. You haven't done anything wrong, just an unlucky grouping of issues. Although it's hard, you can be happy about
how strong you are, and how brave you've been, and just be pleased about
yourself in general.
It's up to the doctors to figure out your treatment, and your family and friends can support you (the ones who get it).
Find some good doctors who know the conditions well.
Please vent away here .... there are some genuine sufferers here who understand what happens when things are unbearable, complicated, and dark!
take care and always try to relax.... keep your nervous system calm
all the best.