Lower than a snake's belly...

Maybe it's time to seriously think about surgery.

You can't afford Remicade (been there, couldn't afford Humira), your fistula will not going to get better without drugs, and you're incontinent and depressed.

Maybe it's time to get an ostomy, temporary or permanent depending on what your surgeon thinks, to divert everything, give your fistula a chance to heal, and at least not worry about leaking through it, and possibly put you in remission for a couple/few (or more) years.

I know surgery is a last resort, but you sound like you've had it with medications as treatment.

If you need someone to talk to, give me a shout. My e mail is in the box to the left.

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Judy

25+years diagnosed with CD. 

Numerous surgeries, permanent ostomy, adverse reactions to Remicade,  still on Prednisone (my worst enemy), Finally had another surgery hoping for a long remission. 

 

Hi Jasanne Just wanted to let you know that I'am listening and my thoughts are with you the Rem. does help with fis. so maybe you should keep trying to get it .You sure do have a few other things there to deal with. I feel depression sets in when we let it in so give it the boot. I think the best way sometimes is to think our way out of it with different ideas.So what kind of stress are you having in your household? I have quite litterally gone to the birds bought in large bags of feed yesterday and made a water feeder out of an old fish tank. So I make things and do things that give me as little depression as possible. Noone should let it get that way for long .lol gail

I understand about not having any close friends too and being depress. This disease makes me social ignorant in making new friends. As for not having enough money for your co pay for your deductible or remicade. My sister was in the the same situation. She could pay her $200 a month co pay for humaria monthly. She was approved for assistance. I could find out more info for you if your needing help!

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Hemi and Fissure surgery that developed 2 abcess deep in my left cheek, by my rectum...(oh how fun!) Medication: Asacol 12 pills a day, Immuran 200 mg, Welchol 4 pills a day for diarhea

Pregnant for my second baby that is due Nov. 1, 2007

Thank God for my adorable daughter, who makes me smile <FONT color=red>everyday!

Thank you all for the kind words and thoughts. That's what makes this place so great.

As to what's going on in my life that's triggered this, it's hard to explain. For one, depression (not the blues) seems to run in my family. Serious, suicide-inducing-type depression (my sister). I fought this many years before and won that battle thinking I'd never have to deal with it again. I don't know when it started back, but it's been lurking for years. It really went into high gear this year. As with many people, there are more things than one that contributed to it and it's just snowballed.

As for the Remicade, we are some of those who have insurance, but the deductibles are very high. I've been told my rheumatologist that I might still qualify for assistance from Centecor, but I'd still have to pay for the infusions, and that's more than the drug. We've barely been breaking even with the meds and doctor bills we already pay for. That fact hasn't helped my depression, but it's only one of a very long list of things.

It's really crazy, but something that happened to me in childhood that I never really dealt with has come back to bite me. I'll just say that it was a type of abuse from a family member (not a parent), and it wasn't something that I had "blocked out" or anything. But one day back in the winter or spring, I became so grieved, not for me as an adult, but for that little girl of long ago who had not been protected against this terrible thing. It's crazy I know, but something in the present triggered it, and I'm just trying to process it all.

I know you all would say to get counselling, but good counsellors are few and far between in my rural area. My experience with counselling has not been anything to brag about. I was sent into counselling once because my dr. thought my gut problems were all in my head. Hmm. Back then I also tried my pastor and found that things said in private may end up in a sermon as a "someone once told me..." moment.

Anyway, thanks for letting me vent. -Joy

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48 yr. old. Ileocolitis.  CD since early teens, misdx'd until age 36.  Hemicolectomy-left side in 2001.  Disease returned in 2003. Arthritis, episcleritis, chronic pain due to surgeries (nerve damage, adhesions) and disease.  Recently dx'd scoliosis.  History of endometriosis.