Pfanner is in with Winn, Winn called this morning and told me could get me in at 11, I said great I would be there. She was very nice but the first thing she told me was I had to quit smoking right now. OK! Then she ordered some more blood work and a Dexa scan to check my bones. She told me to go back on the Librax 4 times a day and increase the imuran to 100mg a day and increased the prednisone back to 40mg a day. I told her my husband thought I was doing better when I took the xanax and that was a big no. I explained my life at this time was working and sleeping and that it was really no life at all. I actually broke down crying which I never do in public like that (you know sign of weakness and all that crap) but I just couldn't help it. I explained I was eatting 1 meal every 2 days because of the pain it caused and the d that came with it and then more pain. Was told if I couldn't eat I needed to be drinking 8 cans of ensure a day (right)! Then to top it all off I was told I was not going to get any more pain medication because they didn't want me to become addicted on top of everything else that was going on! After all that she said she'd see me in a month or 2. I felt so depressed when I left, thinking I'll try all these things but what will I do if the pain doesn't get better, just suffer for a couple of months. I explained I'm trying to work and only take medication on the days I really need it and only after I get home from work. Oh well, I'm trying to hope making the med changes will help. God I hope they help. I'm so tired of living like this and in all honesty it's only been what 4 months. I don't know how you all do it for years and years. I'm hoping one of these days I'll be able to write about
getting my life back but until then I only have this hurt to talk about
and I apologize for that.