Fear of committments (not marriage, just stuff)

Hey Habs - I think you just have to think positive. I had the same dilema when I thought about going to see friends at there camp this past summer but we went and everything went well. Also about booking a cruise in February - what if I don't feel well and I wasted $5,000. But I booked it anyway. We could "what if" all day and never leave our homes, you just gotta go for it. I have found that sometimes it is mind over matter and you pull yourself together for events that you know you need to go to. Just my thoughts. And you seem like you are to fun to be home. Your community needs you. MB

Habs,

I often won't commit to plans with friends because I never know from hour to hour if I will be up for it. I know it's frustrating for them to always hear "we'll see" or "I'll let you know later" but what are the options? I RARELY ever make dinner plans with anyone, what's the point?? I know that as soon as I eat I'll be miserable and need to leave. Why ruin everyone else's evening because of my illness.

Anyone who thinks that CD doesn't affect every single aspect of a person's quality of life is insane. It has affected my work performance and my personal relationships. I work very hard at hiding the pain and discomfort so my kids and friends have some sense of normacy, but they can see it.

Hang in there Habs! Take on only obligations which you are comfortable with, no more-no less.

Marci

I always ask people when they are putting up resistance to something that could be good for them....

what's the worst thing that could happen? and then i answer....you may not have an awesome time....maybe it will only be an o.k. experience.... big whoop then, right?....go for it.....

i think it is easy to become complacent and actually, in a way, seek a form of shelter in our illness....it is easier to shrink into yourself then to put yourself out there, but the rewards are never as good just being around yourself as they are when you are around others....especially when you are doing things for people.....

I myself just became a Moose member, and there isn't even one in my town, but my good friend really wanted me to join, so now they got my $60 bucks and maybe i will help with a pancake breakfast some day or something....hey, at least the beer is cheaper there than at the regular bar, right?

think back on your life...what do you remember most? it is most likely the times that you spent with the people you love/like.

all the days spent alone melt together and end up being wasted, i don't know about you, but i am not getting any younger

I remember an apology i read once, it goes kind of like this.....i probably forgot some over time, but here is the meat of it:

A college professor was teaching his students about the importance of time management and prioritizing.

He stood in front of the class and filled a jar with some rocks and asked the students, is this jar full?

some quickly answered, "yes". But he quickly replied, "no sillies....it is not full, see!", and he put some gravel in there and it filled up the space in between the rocks....

ok...the students laughed..

then he asked again, "is it full?", and most of the students said no...they were quick learners..

So the professor asked, "what next?"

A student raised his hand and so the teacher call him up.

The kid came up and the teacher asked, "now what can i put in there" The kid looked around and filled the jar with some sand that was in a separate container near the professors desk.

The professor was pleased, this kid gets it.

he asked, "now, if i had put the sand in first, would the jar have been full?"

They all answered, "yes!"

He went on, "Well kids, you see, let's consider the jar is a symbol for your time, everything you do in your life has to fit in that jar. So if you put the important things in first....i.e. the big stuff, the rocks....like time with family, helping those you love, cooking good meals, exercising, all the stuff you know you need to do to live a happy life....you will find time for the rest of the stuff somewhere between the big stuff. However, if you allow yourself to become distracted, to focus on the less important stuff first....you fill your jar of life with sand, and there is not any time left for what really matters....the big stuff!"

I always though it was a great story....but had I been there, i would have blurted out, "well then teach....i better get my ass to the bar then...'cause school can obviously come later!"