Surgery is my one and only fear. If I knew that there wasn't a chance of having surgery in this lifetime, I would be the happiest human being in the world!!! what I am afraid of in terms of surgery is that I will not wake up from it. Maybe it a phsycological (sp?) thing, I remember when I gave birth to my children, I begged my doctor not to give me anesthetic, and he was so surprised, he told me other women begg to have one!!! I don't know why I'm so afraid of having surgery, it's just the way I am. On the other hand I know that surgery has helped a lot of people and given them years of remission. Maybe if I knew that surgery would definately give me my old self back for a couple of years, I would do it, but if nobody can guarantee that this is the case, then I refuse to have it. Don't get me wrong, this is just my way of thinking, that I will not opt for surgery unless I have tried all the medicine there is out there with no luck. For the time being I live a pretty normal life just on Entocort and Salofalk, and I'm not planning a trip to the hospital any time soon, ha ha!!!!!
But I would really be interested to find out if there are other people who have avoided surgery for many years like TeachingAngel.
Regarding your question of living your life with all these fears, let me tell you, it gets better, first you think about it every single minute, but as time goes by, you start to forget it from time to time, because life goes on, and life is so much more than Crohns!!!!!
Try to find things to do, things you enjoy to do, read a good book etc., and if you think it helps you, talk to the people you love about your fears, it has always been a relief for me to discuss my emotions with my husband. He always gives me strength to carry on.