I'm so sorry for all that you're going through...I wish I had an answer to help make it all better for you, but I can tell you this, the stress of your marriage worries will NOT help your CD any, which I'm sure you know.
Do you take probiotics? They can be very beneficial, also, my GI insisted that I take a fibre supplement daily for the rest of my life, this has also been a huge help with my CD, it has given me completely formed stools, no more mucus, I go less times a day with larger deposits rather than many times a day with smaller ones.
I also take these things along with the above mentioned, bee propolis (don't take if you're allergic to bees), this is a natural anti-inflammatory and it stopped all my bleeding and pain and also cut back on daily BM's, and omegas 3-6-9, also an anti-inflammatory...this combination of the probiotics (primadophilus reuteri made by natures way), bee propolis, omegas 3-6-9, and fibre supplement (found easily in Canada but only in a few US states apparently called Prodiem, it's similar to metamucil).
I also eat healthy, no processed foods/beverages, fast-foods, caffeine, refined sugar (which adds to the bacterial over-growth us IBDers tend to have, which is why a good probiotic is a must). Idrink alot of water and at least one cup of chamomile tea a day, I'm allergic to oral RX so I don't take any of those which is why I had to rely on the natural route, it's done me wonders, I was going a good 30 times/day with lots of lower back pain, bleeding and mucus, now, no more blood, mucus, pain, and daily BM's are cut down to 5 or less a day because of the COMBINATION of things mentioned above that I take...what works for one doesn't work for all and often it is a combination that works best.
It can be a viscious circle, trying to get better and juggle the daily stresses, but honestly the right person for you (which I know you feel is your wife at the moment) will be able to get through this without making it harder on you...
My husband and I have been together since I was 15, we got married when I was 21, have 2 kids, I got sick a yr and a half after I had my first baby at the age of 23....I'm now 40, so we've been married for 17.5 yrs and have been together for a total of 25 yrs...it has not been easy, I deal with things about
him that I don't care for, drinking, although he's not a falling-down drunk, we both know he has issues with alcohol and jealousy over our many yrs together (he has some insecurity issues because of the way he grew up in his household), but here we are still together, our first born will be 18 in January, and raising teenagers has definitely had it's impact on us as well....so there is hope. I've had crohns for 16 yrs now straight with no full remission but at least it's under better control now then it has been for most of my yrs with it.
Feel better soon :)
My bum is broken....there's a big crack down the middle of it! LOL :)