Am I too sensitive?

JaSanne, I'm so sorry you had to deal with that. If she is a close friend maybe you could say something like "My doctor and I are handling this issue" If she's not a close friend I'd be nice but avoid her like the plague. You don't need that kind of trauma.

I have the opposite problem. My daughter has had Crohn's for 14 years. I only for a year. My daughter is in total denial so everyone in my family thinks it's just a minor problem. Since my daughter doesn't let people know, but me, when she is having problems most everyone, including my husband, thinks it's just a minor inconvenience. I probably should be the same as her. I have a close set of siblings but not once have they called just to see if I'm okay. Or to ask exactly what is Crohn's. Sometimes I feel that no one cares, even though I was in the hospital twice last year.

You are not being too sensitive. Often times people think they are helping by offering advice. If I were you, when asked questions about your treatment, etc, I would just say that it is between you and your medical team, and that you don't want to get into details. This is what I usually do anyway, I just try to do it nicely so that I don't hurt the other person's feelings, as they usually mean well. Take care.

First of all, I am sorry that you have to go through this. And NO YOU ARE NOT BEING TOO SENSITIVE! I have experienced this with family and friends too. They get irritated with me because I can't do lunch or dinner cause I'm tired and think I'm being anti social so I constantly have people mad at me. Then I go to the place and try to be social but I am so uncomfortable and grouchy that I look like an ass and they're mad at you because you ruined their time so it's a no win situation. It's because they are used to our old lives and just plain don't get it. Just like Dunny2 said, they would be singing a different tune if they were in our shoes.

I had to unfriend a girlfriend that I've known since 7th grade two weeks ago because she was telling me that I need to grow up, pull my head out of my butt, quit school, quit the hospital and work as a receptionist somewhere and act my age--my time to be a student has come and gone and I have to accept it. She told me that while I was in the hospital and I told her to respect my boundaries and I appreciated her concern, I am a grown woman and it's my dream and I will do what I wish. I thought it was a done deal. Well two weeks ago she said that I obviously didn't know what I was doing with my life and that she needed to sit me down and tell me how to make my life work. She said she knew she was overstepping boundaries but if her telling me this would help get me off my butt and do something, then it was worth it for me to get mad at her. I saw RED. That gurl is 38--she sounded like she was my grandma and my grandma would never tell me that. We need people to pick us up when we are down and help us get through this, not kick us in the teeth. Wala end of 25+ year friendship.

I'm not saying that you should unfriend your friend or sister in law but try to set up boundaries with her and if that doesn't work, then put space between you both to save your friendships. I like what Momor Vicky, jellybean1887, and mar1annec said about saying something vague so they have nothing to chomp on. I tried that with the above friend and basically it got to the point when we did meet, she jumped right in with those comments but your friend might have more common sense.

There are others that I have put boundaries up with and they do eventually back off but you have to be vigilant about telling them. (Sound like a broken record) Some people have to work on stuff themselves and thrive on getting in other people's drama so they don't have to deal with their own. You can tell this when they offer unsolicited advice and make YOU feel bad when you are the one that is trying to take care of business.

Hope this helps some. =0)

I agree with everyone here -- you're not being too sensitive!

My strategy has been to offer as few details as possible. If someone asks about my specific meds (or treatments) I always say something vague like: "I'm working on a treatment plan with my doctor." Or, "I like my doctor and we have a good plan." If I want to be more specific, I might say: "I've just started a new medicine and I'm having some side effects." But, that's as far as I'll go. I ve learned that sharing too many details -- even with well-meaning people -- backfires.

People always seem to "have a friend" or have "read an article" or know about a diet....it's all too much input. Especially at work, where I want people to talk to me about work topics -- not CD. I keep the details between my doctor and myself.

I've also learned alot about how to respond to friends or others with chronic illnesses. Nobody wants an exhaustive pseudo-medical analysis from a friend! What people need is just listening, support, interest and care.

Your friend is the one who should feel bad after the conversation -- not you.

I get this far too often from family members and friends whose life long dreams are to be uneducated nurses or doctors. UGH. I get so angry. More than once I've had to tell these people who obviously care that if I wanted their advice I'll stop paying my doctor and write a fat check out to them. Until them they can be concerned but tell me what I need. haha.. I try to be polite but really, after 45 million people coming at me with remedies and home grown advice, it's a bit of a soft spot for me. ha.

You are NOT being too sensitive.  I had those kind of problems with coworkers.  I educated them as much as possible with easy to read info.  People just don't understand at all.  The ones who really understand my situation, I have lived with them all at one time or another & then when they actually see how we are for more than 10 minutes in a day, they understand.  Since my husband of 7 months had to take me to the ER 2x now, one time with C-diff, well, let me just say, he totally understands, & now my 21 yr old stepdaughter does too.  god bless