stupid things doc's say... a bit of a vent

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Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 6927
   Posted 10/13/2007 8:18 AM (GMT -7)   
I had a bad appointment this week.   I went because I have this weird bulge on the back of my neck so they sent me to the rhymetologist (sp).  He asked me how I was doing and why I was there?  And it did it in a very sarcastic way, that indicated I should not be there.  I just didn't say anything because I couldn't respond without responding to his manner in a very bad way.  So I guess he took it as stupid...  I swear my IQ drops by about 40 points in the doctors office, but in trying not to be offensive I am left feeling victimized.  I am mad at him and mad at myself for not being able to handle this in a more empowering way.  

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Veteran Member

Date Joined Dec 2006
Total Posts : 1986
   Posted 10/13/2007 8:24 AM (GMT -7)   
I always get emotional in the doctors office, I cry at the drop of a hat, and it makes me feel like an idiot. I always try to have my daughter or my husband go with me now (when they have time) it's easier to get your point across, and doctors don't seem to be quite as condescending, epecially since my daughter's a nurse.

I'm the main care giver/doctor liason for my father-in-law, and I'm very efficient and to the point, ask all the right questions. But when it comes to me, I fall apart.

Thankfully, my GI is a great guy, but I still get too emotional. Some of the other doctors though, my surgeon and the rheumatologists I've seen made me feel like a fool, and it's usually just frustration because they don't or won't listen.

49 years old, CD since I was a child.    
Six resection surgeries, permanent ostomy, adverse reactions to Remicade finally off of Prednisone, back on 6MP for maintenance, hoping for a long remission from this last surgery. 

Regular Member

Date Joined Oct 2006
Total Posts : 148
   Posted 10/13/2007 8:40 AM (GMT -7)   
It's so discouraging to run in to doctors that have no personal skills. I've had to give some of my doctors the same idiot tone that they give me and now the only person that gets treated stupidly is my mother... she likes to join me at times and ask questions that I've already answered for her a million times because she thinks that I'm lying to her about EVERYTHING. Please note that I'm an active 25 year old who lives on her own.. but my mom tends to smother and wants to fix everything that goes wrong for her kids.. it's sweet and sad at the same time..

One thing that I have to constantly remind myself of in those situations is I'm the sick person, I'm the one that doesn't feel good and they need to understand that. Feel free to explain how you're feeling sixteen times if need be, get the point across and take up as much of their time as you need to. They're getting paid handsomely just for that reason. There's never a reason to feel stupid about while seeing a doctor and if they make you feel that way.. tell them you're not comfortable with how they are treating you.
25 years old
Diagnosed 9/06 with Pancolitis. The diagnosis was changed 9/20/07 to Crohn's disease.
Located in my large intestines, stomach, and mouth.
Asacol 3 3x's a day reinstated 9/20/07
Methylpred 40 mg a day.

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Date Joined May 2005
Total Posts : 4219
   Posted 10/13/2007 9:05 AM (GMT -7)   
Judy- I am the same way!! I used to be a corrections officer with a stone cold poker face no matter what hurtful things someone tried to say to me. Skin like leather. Get me in the doctor's office and I can't event get through why I am there without blubbering like a fool. My primary uses a sophisticated computer system to enter everything and I can usually see it (which is what they like to have you make sure it is accurate) but after one of my blubberings she added "state of anxiety" on my chart. And I questioned her about it and she just said it was obvious that I was upset and anxious not knowing what was wrong with me and it was understandable. But, if it was so understandable, why did it have to go in my chart like that? To me that sounds like I came in with anxiety issues as its own seperate thing. However, I later did have anxiety issues so its fine w/ me now that its in my chart but I remember leaving that appointment pretty annoyed.
25 Year old married female.  Diagnosed w/ CD 2 years ago, IBS for over 10 years before that, which was probably the CD.
I started getting a ton of junkmail after putting my myspace profile link on here.  Im taking it off but if you want to contact me just email me and Ill give you a link to my myspace.  Sorry!

Veteran Member

Date Joined Feb 2007
Total Posts : 1010
   Posted 10/13/2007 5:17 PM (GMT -7)   
It is tough. I think our only defense is to know exactly what we want to get out of a doctor's appointment before we go in. Write it down and stay focussed on what we need addressed. Also have a patient advocate. Like so many of you, I feel so vulnerable when I am sick. I can handle myself in just about any situation, with just about anyone, but when I'm sick and in a hospital bed or a doctor's office I just want them to take care of me. And when they ignore my concerns it just makes me crazy.

I wish I could clone myself and act as my own patient advocate, but it just doesn't work that way, does it?

30+ years living with Crohn's.

Regular Member

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 330
   Posted 10/13/2007 5:32 PM (GMT -7)   

Your anxiety story reminded me of something that happened years ago and bothered me so much. When my grandfather was dying, I was with him quite a bit in the last few days in the hospital. I was the family liaison to the hospital and we had to make decisions about treatment, etc. One of the nights, I was sitting up with him and started talking. He was kind of in and out of consciousness, and thought I was a little girl again, and I was thanking him for being such a great grandfather, and I ended up crying pretty hard. I slept in the chair partly because I was upset and partly because they thought he might die at any moment and I didn't want him to be alone. The next morning, in the light of day, the doctors came on "rounds" and left the chart on the bed. I looked at it and it described that the granddaughter (me) was "highly emotional" and perhaps unable" to make decisions for him.

This just INFURIATED me. Of course I was emotional! What human being wouldn't be?? But, I had been just fine making decisions and had handled everything up to that point. My grandfather died actually just hours after that so I never had to follow up. I had forgotten about that for almost 20 years.

Don't worry about what they wrote in the chart -- but, I know just how you felt.
44 years old, newly diagnosed after an 8-day hospitalization in September 2007 but symptoms for several years before that.
Medications: Pentasa, Prednisone (tapering), Cipro, Prilosec.
Supplements: probiotics, calcium, vitamin C, vitamin E and a multi-vitamin.
History of hypothyroid (dx 2004, taking Synthroid) and gall bladder surgery (1997).
Single working mom to three wonderful kids, ages 9 to 15.

Regular Member

Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 144
   Posted 10/13/2007 5:49 PM (GMT -7)   
I truly hate most doctor's.  I have seen 3 gastro. docs and everyone of them was a jerk.  They would ask me questions and then cut off my responses.  I would tell them how bad I was feeling and you could see that they didn't care one bit.  It was like they heard this story a million times and they were over it.  The only decent doc I have is my primary doc and I wish he could treat my crohn's since he is kind and understanding, but even he has his faults:  I saw him one time for my crohn's since I was in-between gastro doc's.  I told him how much pain I was in and he said something to the effect of crohn's isn't that painful.  I just bit my tongue since I don't normally see him for that but even he didn't get it.  It can be very aggervating and often it makes me not want to go to the doctor's at all unless I am unbearable.  =[

26 years old
dx with crohn's at 23
Surgery for fistulas in 2006 and 2007

Regular Member

Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 79
   Posted 10/13/2007 9:35 PM (GMT -7)   
Oh I just hate it when doctors are like that. You are at your most vulnerable and ZAP there they go with the snotty comments or impatient, or rude.

I change doctors now when someone is like that.
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