Newlywed3 I'm sorry you are feeling so frightened, pressured and panicky. Try taking a deep breath from your nose to your toes...right now. Now another one. There is nothing worse than feeling like you are alone, and have the world on your shoulders....and not knowing which way to turn.
This is not easy...but you will have to force yourself to remember to BREATHE. Slow down and take deep breaths several times a day. Set your watch if you have to.
The next is to try to focus on the moment. The sunshine outside....take a walk, notice the colors of the trees, the birds, the flowers....force yourself again to notice people....try to give them a smile.....CHOOSE to feel happy for 15 minutes a day. Tell yourself you will not worry for these next 15 minutes and force yourself to focus on someone, or something else.
I have had the worst 20 years of my life.....have had to give up my home and family twice to stay safe....have had to start again with nothing but the clothes on our backs . My strength has come from knowing that people are basically good. That happiness is a choice, regardless of our circumstances. and that a life of giving thanks for little things....being grateful for small t hings , changes your way of thinking....
For me it has led to peace of mind, and with that the clarity to make sound decisions....or the silence to be able to listen to what my still small voice, my intuition is trying to tell me. ]
If I sound like I'm preaching I'm sorry. Doctors told me I would never have any babies and I have two healthy and beautiful girls.
Come to us often dear one.....we are here to listen, and support you. I may not have the solution to your problem but someone else is bound to have advice you can use. We all care about you !
Love and prayers,
50 yr.old retired RN,Crohn's D for last35 yrs..severe esophagitis, migraines,strictures,urethral stricture,depression,probable MS.