Posted 12/22/2007 12:38 AM (GMT -6)
I was watching the episode of "The Practice" where they had a patient diagnosed with crohns disease. No-one believed her symptoms were real, thought she had Munchhausen syndrome, anorexia, etc.
It got me thinking about my own life. I was diagnosed with crohns only in 2006 at 38 years old but I think I have had the disease for a long time. In my high school and college years I had been diagnosed with depression and chronic fatigue syndrome. I was sent to the psychiatrist when no tests could show what was making me so tired and achey I could not get out of bed. Now - I am not sure that what I had was crohns or only crohns at that time because I did have some other symptoms such as swolen glands. I went through so much emotionally and physically. I always felt like I did not want to complain, and I think my stoicism and mental toughness hid the level of my suffering.
At the time I actually thought I was lazy and overly sensitive. Now, I realize that I have been functioning on about 1/2 the level of what alot of strong healthy people are at!
I wonder what if... I was diagnosed at that time when I was in college. I would have had better medications and ways to manage my illness. I would have saved myself alot of self-questioning and emotional turmoil. But at that same time, maybe not knowing and overcoming what I did was good for me in a way. I had to come to realizations about the limits of my own strength, and how sometimes there is no easy answer and you just have to tough through the hard times until things get better.
Well... if you made it this far thanks for reading this. Wishing all of you a happy and healthy holidays and New Year. ::::MWAH:::: kisses!