Posted 9/29/2013 11:11 PM (GMT -6)
When i was diagnosed my mind went numb. this was something that i see on commercials happening to other people, not to me. i have slowly come to terms with it but right now i am at the hardest point in my life that i have ever been. i am at a point where ask my self "why care? i'm just going to die early anyways." it hurts so much that i am going to have to leave so much behind.
since i was diagnosed at 19 i have had to make many lifestyle changes. i cant live the normal like of another person my age. i have to watch what i eat, i have to take medications several times a day, i cant go on long trips because if i get sick i have to be relatively near my hospital. I have list 17 friends because of this disease. 17. this is because no one wants to be around the diseased girl, they didnt invite me to anything because they figured i was sick or didnt want the baggage that comes with me.....im along.
i have my family and i know they will always be there for me but i want someone besides my family to really love me and want to help me be happy and love life.
because right now.......i wish it had already taken me.
living with CF is like a timb bomb......I'm just waiting for it to go off.
i could really use some words of wisdom if anyone had any.
Breathe strong everyone.