I am only 16 so I can relate in age, but I also relate alot more to you. I do the crying thing as well. You are depressed. I know because I have been there. You sought out help. You came here and asked. That means you want help. And that is ok. I did the very same thing! 6 months ago!
I have been there. First, you need to tell someone. I know this can be difficult. And honestly I havent told anyone but my best friend. But, I have also come through it. I went all the way, and then I realized what life meant. Life is worth living. Trust me. I am so grateful now. It had alot to do with the great people on here. They helped save my life. You can get better. You should be enjoying life. You deserve it. I have zero confidence. But, I know what is important. I dont always live life to the fullest, but believe me when I say it could be worse. I went there, and I really dont want you going there. Please talk to someone. Get some help. I would have done anything to have someone tell me this when I was in your position. It would have saved me a lot of pain.
Tell an adult, your mom, dad, an older sibling, teacher, school counselor or anyone that could help. I did tell my school counselor. Talking with her helped me a lot as well.
And trust me, life is very confusing. I know just what you mean. I am going through alot myself right. And I have some very confusing things going on in my head. But, it could be better. Just tell someone and get some help. Life has meaning. Life is what you make it! And I found out the hard way that life is worth living. Its a precious thing. I have learned not to waste it.
Please, tell someone. Its the right thing to do. If you can get help, you will feel so much better. You will be able to get on with your life. Enjoy life with friends. I hate school as much as the next person but, I am almost out. And soon you will be too...just do your best.
If you dont want to live the way you are, tell someone, get help, and get better! Thats the solution! I woud have rather done that! It is so much easier to just tell someone. You can get better! I wish you the best of luck. And if you ever need someone to talk to, I am here for you.
Take care of yourself!