constant roller coaster

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Regular Member

Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 67
   Posted 12/29/2007 1:51 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi everyone!!! I hope you are all doing relatively well, as well as you can be that is. I'm basically new here and am just thrilled that this board exhists. It's been a comfort even though I don't post much. I'm just relieved to know that I'm not the only one out there, not like I ever thought I was, but I'm glad to read your stories, and know there are others out there who suffer from this as well.
Well I have been depressed off and on for three years, and it's been a steady stream of it since May of 2006. I was in a very abusive relationship, me being the one who tried to carry all the burden on my shoulders and taking the blame for everything, even the break up.
Now that I know it just wasn't meant to be and I'm lucky to be out of a potentially dangerous situation, I'm still not well. I moved home a year ago, at 33 and I'll soon be 35 and I'm terribly lonely and scared at times that I'll never come out of it. My therapist thinks I'll be fine, but I have to do the work. It's grueling work to say the least. I'm trying to get back into school and take this nine month course in medical assisting, but I'm shy 2,700!!! I'm not going to let that amount keep me from bettering my life. The funny thing is my body is so intune with my mind that I have a new stress indicator, HIVES AND ITCHING!!! Another pill to relieve that. I go from being happy to bursting into tears for no good reason and I am so sick of it!!! I had a psychiatrist meeting yesterday after my regular therpay session and she increased my Cymbalta to 90 mil from 60. She said I should see some changes very soon. I hope so 'cause this is really getting tiresome. At least I am eating and showering everyday when before I was not.
I guess what I am saying or trying to say or ask rather, is for those of you who are in recovery, how did you do it? Eventually I do not want to take any pills and manage this by way of diet and exercising. However at the moment I am desperate to get better and will do anything I can to achieve somewhat of a normal mind set that lasts for more than a day or two. It's stressful living at home, and I ache for the independence I once had for so many years prior to this delve into the darkness. I know that once I am strong enough and stable, things will be sunny and all that. I just need a good book to rad that I can mark up and go back to as reference. My own private menatl bible if you will.
It's winter and the snow is knee deep here in New England. What's a depressed person to do when the skies are grey and my mind is too? Thankfully I still find joy in music and look forward to Saturday nights with Prarie home companion...anyone want to come over for tea and cookies and hang with me? I need live friends.
If any of this makes sence it's just a vent and well, hopefully someone will have some suggestions on reading material.

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42610
   Posted 12/29/2007 2:46 PM (GMT -6)   

Hi there,

This is so ironic.  I just ordered a book over the internet that I have been looking for for years.  I read it back in the early 80's and had not been able to find it at the library or anything.  It is called "the new mood therapy" and is written by Dr. David Burns.  It is all about cognitive therapy.  I used it like you say as a personal bible and lost track of it years ago.  It helps you learn how to look at life differently and even teaches relaxation by meditation.  I think you would benefit from this book.  I just typed books in the search browser?. ( I am not that good at computers but I think that is what you call it.)  It takes you to amazon and alibris.  You can get new and used books.  I know that he wrote a second book, like a workbook, but I wanted the first one.  I hope that this helps you.

I live in northern Michigan so I can relate to you about the snow and the grey days.  We get a lot of both.  If I can get out and cross country ski or walk I am okay but lately I have done niether and it is hard, plus I am gaining weight too and that doesn't help.

Good luck to you and I hope that you get the book, they are inexpensive on that web site too.  So that helps. 

Have you ever applied for a grant for college?  That helps a lot, I got one when I was going and it payed for my tuition, books plus I had some left over.

I wish you luck.


getting by

fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, clinically depressed and allergies

Regular Member

Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 48
   Posted 12/30/2007 7:01 PM (GMT -6)   


I just read your thread and I thought I would respond. Tea and cookies sound nice, but am too far away. I wonder how u are doing? I joined on Xmas Eve in the midst of a crisis and have been enjoying this site - trying to vent without breaking the rules of the forum is tricky at times...

I am 37 years old and have suffered from anxiety and depression for a long time. I kick the drugs cause they make me gain weight and I have a hang up about that as do others in my life and then I go back on them - I have had the hives reaction too as a matter of fact. Anyway I would say getting dressed and showering is a big plus... Congratulate yourself.

I was on leave, but I returned to work and I have read a few books - I am not sure if we are allowed to discuss books as it may seem like advertising. I usually get mine from browsing the store and seeing what is new and upcoming - just a hint...

Hope you are well.


getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42610
   Posted 12/30/2007 7:41 PM (GMT -6)   
I am not sure but I think it would be okay to discuss a book if it is helpful with our situation, like for health reasons. As long as we are not trying to sell something. I mentioned a book that I just ordered that was about cognative therapy and nobody said anything about it. Like you say as long as it isn't advertising something. I am sure they will let us know if we are doing something wrong.

getting by
fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, clinically depressed and allergies

Veteran Member

Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 3036
   Posted 12/31/2007 7:46 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi there
Discussing a book is not a problem at all. You have it right Getting by...

Also,I have been trying to email you,but it looks like they are not going through..I was wondering if you were interested in becoming a Mod for depression?
If you are,then all you have to do is email Admin (Peter Waite) and tell him a little about yourself and that you are interested.
I think you do a great job with this site,and we can use all the help we can get!

Mod- Depression

Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia
Meds I have taken throughout the years:Wellbutrin,Tranxene,Paxil,Prozac,Valium,

Have been med free for 2 years now.

I will scream with you,Cry with you and hopefully laugh with you.

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42610
   Posted 12/31/2007 12:53 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Shy,
I emailed you back.
Hopefully you will get it today.
I need to know some specifics.
Worried of my capabilities of staying on top of things.
getting by
fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, clinically depressed and allergies

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