Cheating on your wife is not the right thing to do because eventually someone will get hurt. Cheating on your wife will only create more drama and problems in your life.
Your counselor shouldn't be encouraging you to seek company of another woman, you should focus that energy into yourself, your kids, new hobbies, spending time with good friends and other family members.
Having a female friend is fine, but if you are looking for intimacy, sex and connection with someone else, well, have you thought about
what if you fall in love or the other woman falls in love with you? Are you prepared to divorce your wife at some point? Because that is what it will come down to, or you will have someone on the side to satistfy your needs while still staying married. That's selfish and unfair of you to do to your wife and your 3 kids.
You and your wife need to go to counselling together to make the marriage better. She needs to continue counseling on her own too. This is a must so it's time to really
open up and talk to your wife.
If you felt so uneasy about
marriage in the first place, why did you continue to have 3 kids? I am not meaning to sound rude, but I don't understand unless you thought each child would help the marriage get better?
Does she treat the kids the same way she treats you? Maybe it would be better to divorce and have the kids living without all the stress around them. What kids learn about
relationships starts in the family home, so if you are unhappy and your wife is displaying bad behaviour
infront of them, they will learn it and accept it as a normal thing, which it is not.
Sorry that I may have come off harshly, it's just finding another woman on the side is not the answer here.