Posted 1/5/2008 5:12 PM (GMT -6)
I am an actor and a dancer/choreographer. My whole life I have battled anxiety and ocd. It was never immobilizing, but certainly had a huge impact on my life. In the times in my life where things were going very well, stable, creatively fulfilled, these symptoms were faint. At times of uncertainty and change, they blow up. Now, I am 36, just bought a house with a longtime boyfriend and am delving into my career as an actor, which is incredibly difficult and uncertain. So, needless to say, my anxiety and ocd is high. But, over the past year, with all this change, depression has arrived. I was having big mood swings and times of just pure exhaustion and depression. I am in therapy, and have tried Zoloft and Lexipro. These drugs either numbed me, or gave me more manic mood swings. My therapist said she doesn't see any bi-polar in me, but maybe just some minor mood instability. I am so tired of being so excited on a Sunday night about getting all this great stuff done the next day, then Monday morning comes, and I have no structure and no motivation to do anything. I would love to try a different medication, but I am afraid that it will mess with my emotions so much that as an actor, I wont have the emotional range that I do now. That is a huge question. Are there any creative people out there that rely on their true emotions for work, and are on depression medication?