Hey, This is my first time and actually very excited to find this site and maybe find someone that understands! And we all know that finding someone to understand is difficult, Here is a little about myself. I live in a very rural part of the world, ya know like cattle and and hay feilds. I work with kids, I love my job, kids are so innocent and honest ugh, they ,make me happy! I am married, I have a 4 1/2 month old and 3 year old, girls and they are my life. They are my biggest accomplishments and I would do anything for them.
Here is a little review of my life. Parents divorced when I was 5, my stepmom was abusive, my sister was abused by my dad, my mom has undiagnosed mental disorder, I have been sexually abused several times by family, I could continue on and on but my point is it lead to severe depression, drugs, alcohol, sex. Eventually the sex got me pregnant(who knew), and had an abortion when I was 17 ahich caused alot alot more depression, would never reccomend it, its awful and I have to klive with that for the rest of my life, then I got pregnant again at 19 by my husband now, he married me, and its been very bumby but compared to my life before its normal but we fight quite a bit prob' due to my depression and I know he has some problems but I don't think he would ever seek help. I mean we can get pretty hateful with our words and I have been physiaclly abusive. SO about 2 years ago, I decided to start antidepressants and see a counselor (wouldn't be the first time, I begged my mom when I was 15 to let me get pills and see a counselor, she did ofcourse) Couldn;t afford a counselor this time around, so I have been on 100mg zoloft even through my pregnancy and breastfeeding, recently stopped breatfeeding and I have been a little hormonal! I have always struggled with my weight and I have gained ALOT!! I don't enjoy sex, I mean I am still depressed I know I need a counselor because in all honest I have alot to say! Can't afford one and I don;t have time with work and kids and the nearest one's are 30mls away. I am tired all the time, then I can't sleep, when I crash , I can't get up. My whole body hurts, I just cry and throw fits. I hate myself sometimes! Just need advice and a little insight!!
God bless! Without him I would not have any sanity!