Completely on the edge.

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New Member

Date Joined Jan 2008
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 1/11/2008 8:28 PM (GMT -6)   
Hello everyone..

I just joined this site, because I am at the point now where I need someone new to confide in.

The past few months have been troublesome...well lets be honest - They've been miserable.

I am worried about my girlfriend. She lives in a household where she is treated like trash all the time. I have witnessed many, many of the fights that take place in there. These fights are very stupid. For example - She may ask to tag along on a short trip to the store, or may ask to head to bed early because she doesn't feel well. What her parents do is insane. They instantly start yelling at her, but not just "No you can't do that. It'll be a short trip" or "No, it's too early." It's much worse. It comes down to name calling, screaming obscenities at her. All kinds of name calling - etc.

Well after so many months of this - bearing witness to how pathetic this is - I am so stressed out by having to help her out of her deep depression states. I tend to get physically sick when stressed - I am worried that this will continue until I have to be admitted into a room - Just so my body and mind can relax and allow me to get back to normal.

I don't know what to do to help her - and in doing so, helping myself.

I am at a loss, and I am at the end of my rope.

Thanks for any help given..

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42528
   Posted 1/11/2008 10:02 PM (GMT -6)   

I think that you already know the answer to this.  You have to take care of yourself and not feel guilty about it.  You can't be any help to your friend if you are sick.  So first comes you, your health and your emotional well being.  Then you can be there for your friend, that is all you can do.  You can't fix her problem, only she can.  But you can be supportive and there for her when she needs to talk or whatever. 

You are a wonderful person to put your health on the line to help her cushion all of the termoil, but if you get sick, you can't help either one of you.  Maybe you could go to counseling with her to help her out if that you feel might be needed.  In that way you will be looking after her and yourself too.  It is just a suggestion.  I am sorry that she is living in such a disfunctional atmosphere and that you are suffering too.  I hope there is a way to help you both.

Keep us posted.



fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, clinically depressed and allergies

Veteran Member

Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 3036
   Posted 1/12/2008 7:40 AM (GMT -6)   

Welcome to the forum

I am sorry that you are having to witness this.
Getting by is right,at some point you have to take care of yourself. But,I do see where you should be concerned.
I am not sure of her age,but if she is still in school,then I would push her to talk to the school counselor. Then see where that goes.

At some point,all you can do is listen.

Good Luck and keep us posted.

Mod- Depression

Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 870
   Posted 1/20/2008 10:21 AM (GMT -6)   
Welcome to the forum.  What you are experiencing is something that is extremely hard for a person with "normal" health let alone someone that may be experiencing depression.
I understand that you want to be there for the ones you care about and in so many words "want to slay the dragon" but sometimes you have to realize that the beast is to big and that you can only put your own health in danger as well.  It is really sad what is happening in your world and there is no magic potion.
I am not sure how old the two of you are but if you are of age have you ever considered moving in together?  I am not condoning this, just a suggestion.
The most important thing I can tell you is this, your health is most important!!!!  No matter how hard you work, sometimes you must look out for #1
I will say a special prayer for you.
 The only limit to our realization of tomorrow will be our doubts of today. Let us move forward with strong and active faith.

Elite Member

Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 1/20/2008 10:04 PM (GMT -6)   


Welcome to Healing Well and the Depression forum.  I agree you have to take care of you right now.  I know you are worried about your girlfriend but if your down and out you won't be able to do much for her.  Please consider seeing a physician for your depression and again welcome.

Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety ~ Panic  ~ Crohn's
*~* *~*
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~

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