It sounds like effexor may not be the medication for you, though I don't know your marital situation. I do know that you have to taper off. The withdrawal symptoms are horrible. Halcion is a strong medication too. It has been around for a long time. Maybe you should talk to another doctor. I take effexor (375mg a day) but have added abilify to the mix and it has really helped me. Maybe you could try that.
I wish you luck, hopefully somebody will come along with some better advise.