Once a well behaved boy now becomes a dangerous dragon. It's what I call myself now. I'm from China and it takes much longer to explain my situation. I stay at home now to deal with depression till I am capable to return to my college. My first two years' performance in university, which is a top 3 here, is brilliant. Amazingly my GPA rockets to 4.7 which is 92 out of 100. In addition I took part in math model competitions and did well. It seems whenever I talk about
my past, the audience would either think me a over-boasted person who still lives in the past, or all my focus at school is ranking and marks. I just don't know how to start and where to go. Yesterday an impulse arose and I hit my mother violently. This was not the first time I could not control my emotion. I was numb even I knew I did wrong. How would I turn to this merciless person? I could see anti-depression drugs' effects, but sometimes my emotion changes turbulently. Maybe I was happy all the day, but after some stimulus my temper goes out of control. Hatred and love mixed together in my mind about
my ex gf. She abandoned me after I got depression. But I also believe misunderstandings exist between us. So easily I can slip from an extreme to another. I am also worried about
the GRE test in June. GRE is necessary cos I want to further my education in foreign countries.
Now I am only waiting the drugs to pull me out. I don't think my cognition have many troubles. What kind of cognitive therapy do I need? Which is more important, drugs or the later? I conceive depression as a physical disease but it afflict you through your thinking and mood. DO you agree?
I tried to learn guitar, GO and play basketball now.
Post Edited (asyouknow) : 1/24/2008 3:09:27 AM (GMT-7)