Wow, I got up this morning and was feeling low but came here and realized people are talking to me. I am attached, I am not dangling by myself. There really is a life line here and how did I forget to take care of me? I need to remember keeping all of my feelings locked up inside and playing the role of being ok is harmful to me. You have all reached out, I am reaching back and grabbing ahold of your hands and drawing support from each of you.
Deb, I watched your videos and seeing you in person was awesome, a person to a name. :) I loved Mikey and Sam and hearing you talk to them reminded me of how I talk to my furry friend. I had 2 Dobies until November 07 when I had to have my best friend put to sleep. I still have one, Morgan. Thank you for inviting me into your life.
Karen, I have a daughter Karen and she is my only girl. She has 2 daughters of her own and they are special, however, they are at the busy age 14, 16...........need I say more. I accept those hugs. I am a hugger.
Shy, I wish we were closer and we could get together. Why did I not follow your lead sooner and post about how I was feeling? I did long ago but I get wrapped up in helping and when I slide I guess I hate to admit I am in dire straights. I follow your threads alot and know about your issues. I understand you well.
Your right, losing my sister was sad and yet I felt useful when I was in North Dakota at her bedside. When I came back home I had Christmas to keep me busy and then January hit..............crash.
Thank you for the kinds words and support.
Gillian, Sometimes Mods are embarrassed or just plain into stinkin thinkin when we forget we are human and it is ok to share and ask for help.
I have 4 children but our 3rd child was killed in a car crash in 1990, he was 21 years old. My hubby says I changed after that. I guess I did, and I have tried to go on and live well which I have done most of the time. Why I was blessed with depression, I do not know but a therapist once said to me when I asked "Why Me?", "Why Not You?"
I worked for 26 years as a RN in the ICU and then ER where I was the Manager. I loved my work and oh how much I loved my friends. We were always there for each other and talked the same language. That went away when I had a huge meltdown and took early retirement in 2006. When I shared the secret I carried around inside me with my friends, they did not know what to do. I am a great actress. I am a person with depression. Thank you for being here for me.
Darren, My sweet, brillant, British Prince............thank you for remembering how long we have been here together. You are so right, I need a hobby and I am going to start looking for ideas.
My hubby is pretty much of a loner and not into walks in the park. We do watch movies together, but unless I am really to the point where I cannot help it, I cry alone. Crying sets him off, he is frustrated and "can't handle it".
You have reminded me that I am in control of my fate and I need to start driving the bus myself. You are simply quite wonderful. Thank you my friend.
manyembers, Thank you so much. You reminded me that I am a "neat" person. I am a cool Grandma, I ride a Harely of my own and I love music, my hubby, my children and grandchildren. I love to travel and I have lost so much in life and in losing I have gained appreciation for what I do have. My birth mother died when I was 18 months old and I was raised by a version of the wicked stepmother. My therapist shared with me she felt I was a "daughter without a Mother". I did, just last year, go through intense therapy and looked at the past and learned how to let go.
I have kicked a lot of garbage to the curb, I will be ok. With the help and support, the outpouring of love and friendship here, I will always be a winner.
I will not hide my feelings, it is an old trick and bad habit. Thank you for being here.
Carla, I believe we are like sisters in this dance with depression that always keeps us on our toes. It does feel good to let it out, the steam was building but my fear is the "what if no one reads or cares?" I know, dumb thinking. It is better to take a chance then miss out.
We both need to be kind to ourselves and please know I love ya.
Gentle Hugs, Ms Carla
ediekristen, Thank you for your gentle response. Yes I do feel alone in a crowd often, I know I need to speak out when these feelings overwhelm me but I choke up and run away and hide. No more hiding. I will be posting my feelings so I can feel connected and not like a lost soul lurking in the background. Bless youl
So my day begins, the first day of the rest of my life. I will give it my all and stop to remember to love myself . Thank you all and I will be coming back here, I know I will but that is ok.
Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I'll rise.