I am glad to see you are going to get some help.
Not that this is completely unheard of abnormal behavior, in fact it happens alot here, but it is really going to take hard work to fix. You have to be committed to making a change in your behavior, but I think you already know this. This is about
taking responsiblity and filling that hole (that you have been filling with other people/possibly substances) within yourself. Am I on target with you here?
You cannot get what you need from other people, it has to come from within yourself. This is not a licease to be selfish, but to get squared away, and you can do it. Because what it comes down to is that we all make mistakes and what makes us better people is to learn, grow, and love deeper. I get the feeling that you think therapy is bunk, but I suggest a new frame for therapy. Please look at it as a way to grow as a human being, because that is what a therapist does is to help you grow. I think individual therapy for your immediate family would be a good idea, and family therapy for your immediate family would be a good idea as well.
There is a reason no one is an island unto themselves, there is an interconnectiveness to us all.
Something to think about
what would you tell your children (assuming that you are a loving compassionate father who would never want them to hurt) if they found themselves in your situation twenty years down the road? What would you want their outcome to be? How would you want them to grow from this situation?