You have got to remember, it all takes time....You're 20, and how long have you been depressed, and how long have you been telling yourself self-depreciating things? It is just like when people gain weight, it didn't happen over night so taking it off isn't going to happen over night. Your negative words to yourself aren't going to be taken away quickly, mostly because we are always hardest on ourselves.
Since you are the one hardest on yourself, take a step back and think about it as if your friend were coming to you with the same problem...What would you tell her? Does it matter that she doesn't have a boyfriend? What kind of guy is it she would want in her life? Why? Then, take your own advice!
I am willing to bet BabyT is right, your guy friends probably do like you but are afraid to do anything. They probably want to make the move, but then think about the friendship they would lose if it didn't work and it stalls them. You should think about it, too, before letting it go anywhere....would/could you still be friends if the relationship doesn't work. Having them in your life as a friend is better than not having them at all. Of course, if years from now you both realize that all along you were meant for one another then sure, go for it....But right now at 20 do you want to decide that you are done looking for absolutely anybody else and you could do without this person in your life (if it didn't work because you are both young)? I doubt it.
cervical fusion 2006
L4-5 surgery with cages, plates, and screws in 2005
MEDS: Fentanyl patch, Norco, Celexa, trazodone, and baclofen
To handle yourself, use your head...to handle others, use your heart
I'm going to smile like nothing is wrong, act like everything is perfect, and pretend its not hurting me.