yes i have been medication free for nine years, but things got so unbearable recently, and i'd lost interest in everything, i felt i had to try and do something about it. I think my depression is partly a chemical imbalance, and partly due to past events, so i think medication will help a little, and i'm on a waiting list for counselling again :-( It feels like a huge step back, but losing my course, friends/family, and life would have been even more of a loss. Not that my friends and family would have left me, but you know how it gets when you're really low, and you don't see and speak to people.... I'm absolutely hating being on my Uni course, and i've only just started my second year of four and a half! The problem is it's so sociable based, always working in groups, going away on placement to offices full of strangers etc.... I know it's the career i want, but i don't know how i'm going to get through another three years. My anxiety has got so bad recently, not only am i finding it hard to go out again, but i only have to look at my post (letters through the door!) and i feel all knotted up! I'd do anything to get rid of my depression long term, but after seventeen years of suffering from it, i'm pretty sure i'm lumped for life.... It's so hard trying to fit into a society that i so obviously do not fit into, day after day....