Welcome to HW. You have been through a lot and it is good to express how you feel. I understand what depression is and mine started since childhood. I have read that most very succesful people have been victims of depression. Some regard it as we are special...in a good sense people. As Teresa said you have to take care of you. I agree you take care of number one first.
Sometimes we need meds to give us a jolt to getting better. Have you ever been on antidepressants before? It would be a start to see/talk to your PCP about
this. As for dating maybe you should put it on hold till you sort out your emotions so you eliminate one area that is now stressful for you. A lot think its easy to snap out of it but you and I know differently. I think your friends mean well though but its hard to understand something you have never felt.
I wish you well and here you will find a lot of caring people so come along and talk whenever you feel overwhelmed.
We are more than what we do, much more than what we accomplish, far more than what we possess.