Your low self-esteem could be what is pushing the guys away. Now, I don't want you to take that the wrong way, so let me explain......
A time back I was heavy, I am 5' 10" and weighed 190. However, I was very confident in myself, my work, knew I had a great sense of humor, and was plain ole fun to hang out with. I had a lot of guys who wanted to date me, too, even though I was heavy. Now, they all knew I wasn't offering up anything sexual, so I know that isn't the reason they were around. I wanted to hang out with the guys as friends, but they wanted more. It was because I was so confident. Guys find that sexy. Now fast forward to my depression era and I am not at all confident any more and that shows too.
It is what we project about
ourselves that can dictate how we will be treated. If we are clingy, calling all the time, and needy then that just pushes people away. That is why we have suggested you talk to a new person every day, to build your self-confidence. When you behave as if you are confident (even if you aren't) then you will get a different reaction.
I believe your counselor was helping to give you confidence, too, and understanding. I hope there is a way you can continue.
cervical fusion 2006
L4-5 surgery with cages, plates, and screws in 2005
MEDS: Fentanyl patch, Norco, Celexa, trazodone, and baclofen
To handle yourself, use your head...to handle others, use your heart
I'm going to smile like nothing is wrong, act like everything is perfect, and pretend its not hurting me.