Bionca - my dear, I think you are writing the story that I once lived! I used to hide out in the bedroom, too, or pull extra shifts at work...at one time even working 3 jobs so I didn't have to be there except when our kids were at home...and I didn't want him near them. Eventually, he failed another drug test while in the DUI class and was told he had to go to daily treatment classes or go into an "intensive inpatient rehab." I finally convinced him it was better to go to the inpatient treatment by himself rather than having the police come get him and take him there, or to jail. I don't know if that was his rock bottom or if it was me telling him while in rehab that I wanted him clean or I didn't want him at all. See, even during all that time he didn't work....couldn't get a job because he couldn't pass a drug test. I was the only financial support and all of these drugs were given to him by "friends" that would stop by...they just wanted someone to party with and a place to do it. I was enabling all of that by not being there to put my foot down, but I couldn't be there, I had a $1200 house payment to make, plus food, utilities, car payment....so I had to be at work, albeit not as much as I made myself work.
You have to take care of you and your child(ren). I became a very cold person because of all of that. He would think that maybe if he didn't drink for a day that everything was better and maybe he could get a little sumthin, sumthin. I was repulsed by him and what he was doing. I was deeply depressed and scared. I thank God for that program making him. This was almost 10 years ago, we've been together for 20 years....and we are still repairing the damage he did to us.
I am sorry but your post had to be edited
1. No discussion of any illegal activity or threats of violence. (ie. illicit drug use, including medical marijuana use, threats of suicide or self-injury, or threatened or intended physical harm). Discussions of suicide or self-harm that are deemed negative and therefore potentially injurious to others are also not permitted
Post Edited By Moderator (ShynSassy) : 3/4/2008 5:56:07 AM (GMT-7)