Posted 3/6/2008 10:23 AM (GMT -6)
Hi Heather, I understand that feeling of loss of identity. When I was in my first marraige, my husband was doing the same thing with a coworker. But kept it hid. I read some of the things that were written back and forth but he didn't know that. Then there was a rumor about the two of them. I overlooked it and it did go away, but it really hurt me. We never did discuss it though because I wasn't suppose to be reading through his stuff.
I did go through being so and so's wife. Instead of myself. But then we were spending less and less time together. He was always doing things with friends. I was always left home. But I started walking my dogs for exercise, people would eventually see me as the dog lady. But at least I did have my own identity. And of course he got jealous of that. Eventually I did go out and get a job which really helped my self esteem. Though with you having children, that may not be possible. But I would say to find something that you like to do and do it. Some type of hobby or some group contact. This will build up your own self esteem and reinforce your identity. You do have that here Heather, this group can help to make you who you are. Good luck with this, you sound like you have the ball rolling and we will be here to help you make it through.
Luv and hugs, Karen